How to Tell Your Brother You've Been Dating His Best Friend
by Crimson Rose Blooms
Summary: Misaki Takahashi is finally graduating from Mitsuhashi University and his brother has never been prouder. But now comes the moving-out and becoming-a-working-adult part he has been dreading, and worst of all, telling him he'd been dating his best friend for the past four years. And of course, none of his plans ever work the way he expects, not when Usagi-san is involved.
1. Chapter 1

Graduation is a proud moment – you can tell by all the beaming and teary faces around, the flashing of the camera as you collect your diploma, the bouquet of flowers shoved your way as you walk out of the gates one last time as a student.

I felt a little overwhelmed too. Todo had given me a solid pat on the back, wishing me luck for the future and promising to contact me soon. We would be lifelong friends, I hope, because who knew what was going to happen from now on. Then he was gone.

"Mitakii!"

The sound of my mis-spoken name brought a smile to my face and I rubbed at the unshed tears in my eyes as a small figure latched itself to my leg.

"Congratulations!" Mahiro yelled, the brightest grin on his cherub face. I couldn't help but smile back and pick him up.

"Thank you, Mahiro."

He fidgeted a little and I struggled to lift him any higher than my shoulder. He had gotten so big in so little time.

"Misaki," Nii-san called out to me as he came running over. He was wearing his usual suit, but he looked quite frazzled – probably from shoving through the crowds in the ceremony. Once he got to me, he placed both arms on my shoulders. "Congratulations on graduating. I'm so proud of you. I'm sure… Mum and Dad too…"

He stopped talking to swallow the lump in his throat and I did the same. I actually succeeded in graduating from M University, the one my brother never got to go to. I've done what I needed to do and now, I could do what I wanted.

"Now, now," my sister-in-law comforted him with a light touch of the arm. Nii-san softened at the contact.

Then she turned to me, a gentle smile on her face. "It's meant to be a happy occasion. It was a great ceremony, Misaki. Congratulations and well done on graduating. I'm so happy for you. Mahiro, come here. We need to get that reservation at the restaurant and Misaki has people to see. Don't you?"

She gave me a knowing look.

I blushed a little and nodded. The little boy pouted as I lowered him down, but he obediently went back to his mother's side.

"Of course," Nii-san said with a cough to clear his throat, "You'll want to thank your teachers and speak to your friends. We'll be waiting at the restaurant. Usagi is coming too, isn't he?"

I nodded again but kept my gaze on the ground. Thankfully, he didn't seem to notice my awkward behaviour.

"Great, we'll see you there. Come on, Mahiro."

And the proud Takahashi family headed off with a final wave.

My respectable brother who cared for me up to adulthood, my kind sister-in-law who supported me in any way possible, my adorable nephew who loved me unconditionally. Would any of that change after today? Would I… Could I still call them family?

"Misaki."

That low voice. It melted my heart just listening to it and held back the tears that threatened to fall.

I turned around with a forced smile on my face.

"Usagi-san."

He didn't look very happy though, just as he usually was. His feline eyes were narrowed on me, his lips pulled taut and arms crossed to accent his perfectly fitted grey suit that matched the silver of his hair. He truly looked like the picture of a businessman.

"Come with me," he said, tone even.

I didn't even get a chance to respond. He had grabbed my hand – in public and in front of everybody at the university – and dragged me to the car park.

"W-wait!" I stammered, struggling to catch up with all the present in my arms.

But of course, Usagi-san didn't listen. I swore he even sped up, until we reached his bright red sportscar which could be seen lightyears away. And he pulled me into the front seat with him, the flowers, the chocolates, the goddamn diploma went flying to the back.

"Hey! Watch where –" I protested but Usagi-san had covered my lips with his.

It wasn't one of those passionate kisses I could melt into. This one was much gentler, more like a peck but nonetheless more endearing. And when he pulled away, his eyes were looking directly at me, like he always did, without restraint.

"Congratulations on your graduation, Misaki."

I blushed furiously.

"T-Thanks."

I was straddling Usagi and I was certain people outside could see us. It would be embarrassing to be caught like this on the day of graduation, so I tried to manoeuvre across to the passenger seat, but before I could manage that, Usagi-san had linked his arms around my waist.

"You're not going anywhere."

"B-but we need to get to the restaurant."

"We have time."

He leans into the crook of my neck, sucking on the skin and making me tremble. As much as I wished I could indulge in it, this was the day we needed to be on time. It wouldn't make a good impression if we showed up late and in a mess.

"Usagi-san," I protested, shoving him away gently, "We can't. We need to go. Nii-san will be waiting for us."

"Takahiro can wait."

"No, he can't. Not today."

Usagi-san looked me in the eye and I tried to look stern. I couldn't give in no matter what. We had both decided today would be the day we finally told him. It would mean a new start for us.

"Misaki, there's no rush," he said slowly.

And for a second, I wondered if he didn't want to, even though we had spent nights worrying over this problem. But Usagi-san would never. He wasn't insecure about things like this. No. He was trying to be considerate. He was worried about me.

I shook my head, as if to clear my head.

"I want to. Today. Now. And then… we can… be us."

I didn't know what I was saying, if it made any sense. Although this was the turning point of our relationship, it simultaneously felt like nothing would change. When I went back home, it wouldn't be Nii-san that greeted me, but Usagi-san. It was always Usagi-san.

"For today, wouldn't you like to just focus on celebrating your graduation?"

I bit my lip.

To be honest, I had been thinking about it. We could have a nice dinner and life would go on as usual. And then the next time that Nii-san mentions moving out or finding a girlfriend or not to rely on Usagi-san, I would tell him directly.

But…

"It would make me happy if we could tell him together, now. I'm a real adult now, right?"

I gave him a confident smile.

Usagi-san looked at me, as if testing me. And then he pulled me down for another kiss, this time more desperate, more giving.

* * *

Our drive to the restaurant was silent but restless. My hands were clenched into fists and I kept thinking about how to word it.

The good thing was Nee-san already knew. I'm glad I managed to tell her before this; she had given me a lot of support. Even so, I couldn't predict what Nii-san's response would be. Would he be disgusted? Disappointed? Distraught?

I had come to the conclusion long ago that I had to stay with Usagi-san. I had to. It was part of my life. But it didn't make it any easier to tell Nii-san. He was my only family.

"Misaki, we're here."

I gulped.

"We don't have to do this today," he repeated, clearly anxious. I could see his brows pushing together.

"We are," I assured him, with a firm nod. Then I opened the door and stared at the restaurant entrance.

Usagi-san had wanted a really fancy steakhouse/French/expensive place and I had wanted a family restaurant. He had insisted that he would be paying but Nii-san had intercepted him, so here we are, at some sushi place that he picked.

"Wait."

I turned back to see Usagi-san striding to me with determination.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned. Did he change his mind or something?

"Your tie," he said, as he adjusted the damn thing on my neck. "It's crooked."

"Thanks."

He smirked, "From start to end you still can't do your tie right."

I flushed red. "It's your fault! I told you I didn't need a new suit. It's the material of this tie. It's too silky and nice. I can't use it."

I grew even more flustered when I thought back to how Usagi-san had bought it without my permission and insisted it was a graduation present, and if I didn't take it then there would be a lot more coming my way.

I had sighed, thinking of all the ridiculous stuff he got me. Honestly, this guy had no concept of money.

"It fits you perfectly," he said smoothly and took my hand.

I wanted to argue with him, tell him we were in public, say that this suit was making me all itchy, but the warmth of his hand covering mine calmed my nerves a little. It was strange. His hand was always cold – I think it's because of all the writing he does – but when it's touching me, I feel warm. I wonder what it is.

"A reservation for Takahashi," Usagi-san spoke clearly to the waiter.

I was self-conscious about our hand-holding. Now I was only an inch away from Usagi, making us look even more intimate than if we were only holding hands. Plus, I was sure my face was beetroot red.

"Of course," the waiter said, "This way please."

He began to walk towards the back, concealed by the rows of customers. I found myself holding my breath.

Was this the way I was going to announce it? Just walk in holding Usagi-san's hand? Would Nii-san understand right away?

"Misaki."

"Mm?"

He let go of my hand.

"I'll be right by your side."

I smiled at him, "I know."

And then I walked in front of him, following the waiter instead. This was the one thing I wanted to do by myself. I had told him, and he had respected my decision. And that was enough for me to know this was the right thing to do.

"Misaki! Usagi! Good to see you."

Nii-san got up from his seat to give Usagi a hug while Mahiro came over to drag me to sit next to him. I laughed nervously, knowing that if I sat next to my nephew then I would be further away from Usagi-san.

"Mahiro, you haven't asked Misaki yet," Nee-san reprimanded.

"Mitaki…"

He sounded like he wanted to cry.

"If you act that way then Misaki won't want to take you out anymore," she chided him, "Come sit with Mama for today. It's Misaki's special day. You have to let him do what he wants, right?"

Mahiro sniffled but nodded.

Man, Nee-san is so cool. She's such a good mother.

She lifted her head up to give me a supportive nod. And I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to have her in my life. Nii-san really did have a good eye for women.

I seated myself opposite Mahiro so I could keep talking to him but sit next to Usagi-san, although it seemed that Usagi-san and Nii-san were doing that thing where the world didn't exist anymore. They were reminiscing about something I didn't know about and laughing much too hard. I almost hated it, the way Usagi-san didn't seem like Usagi-san but a proper adult. He was one, of course. It just wasn't the Usagi-san I knew.

"Are you going to do anything now that you've graduated?" Nee-san asked.

"Oh, Usagi-san and I were planning to take a trip. After today," I added a little too sombrely.

"That sounds nice," she smiled, "Mahiro, you wanted to ask Misaki something too."

"Yeah! Mitaki, I want you to come to my sports festival!"

"Huh?"

"It's next month! I'm going to run as fast as I can and you're much faster than Papa," he beamed, "If we run together, we could win."

"Right…"

"Would that be alright, Misaki?" Nee-san asked softly, "I know you'll be busy but it's a big family event. If it wouldn't take too much of your time…"

"No. No, not at all," I answered much too quietly. But I felt as though if I spoke any louder then my voice would break and I would start crying, too early into dinner.

Just the thought that Nee-san and Mahiro would still…

"Mitaki, we could do practice together!"

"Mahiro," his mother warned again, "Misaki has work too. You need to be considerate."

I let out a little laugh. "I'll definitely be there to help you win, Mahiro."

"Yay!" he clapped his hands together, "I'm going to win!"

Nee-san sighed, "Honestly, you two brothers are spoiling him rotten."

"What did I hear about you winning?" Nii-san asked, finally wrapping up his adult conversations with Usagi-san on the side. Both of them came to sit down but now our attention was on Mahiro. I didn't even notice that Usagi-san had slipped his hand over mine again under the table.

"Mitaki is going to the sports festival with me!"

"Really? What about Papa?"

"Mitaki can run faster."

I never saw my brother so heartbroken. Even Usagi-san gave a little laugh. "We're not getting any younger," he commented, giving my hand a light squeeze.

I blushed a little.

"Shall we get some sake?" Usagi-san suggested.

"Usagi-san, Mahiro…" I glowered at him.

"No, no. Usagi is right. It's a special occasion. It's alright. Right, dear?" Nii-san waited for Nee-san to give a somewhat begrudged nod before he waved at the waiter. He ordered the most expensive one and for three cups.

"Usagi-san, you can't drink," I quickly remarked, "You're driving."

"I can take the train," he shrugged as he filled up the cups, "It's a special occasion."

Nii-san laughed as he raised his cup. "Too right. To Misaki's graduation!"

And with a shake of my head I took a sake cup and sipped at it. I really needed to be sober for this, but I suppose a little alcohol might help.

"But really, I can't believe four years flew by, just like that." Nii-san gave me a long look, almost nostalgic. "You've grown so much."

I gulped.

"When I met Misaki, he was just a little brat," Usagi-san smirked as he licked his lips, "Getting failed during the last year of high school and still expecting to get into M University."

"I graduated, didn't I?" I pouted, annoyed that he had to bring it up on my best day. "Plus, you willingly offered to help me."

"After you begged me," he muttered.

"Usagi-san!"

Nii-san laughed, "That really was a long time ago, huh? And now you've lived with Usagi too."

Past tense.

My palms were sweating at this point and I knew Usagi-san felt it.

"Mahiro, let me take you to the bathroom," Nee-san urged, "You don't want to have to leave the table during dinner, right?"

She ushered his away despite his protests that 'I can go by myself' and 'I want to stay with Mitaki'. But internally, I thanked her and hoped that it would give us enough time to explain ourselves. I tightened my grip on Usagi-san's hand.

"What are your plans for moving out then, Misaki?" Nii-san asked, "I didn't think we'd bring it up today but since Usagi is here, it's a good chance to get things sorted. I wouldn't want him to bother you after all this time, Usagi. I know you two get along well but he has to move out some time and become more independent."

He took a long, slow drink.

"Takahiro, I –"

"Nii-san, I –"

We looked at each other, cutting each other off again.

"Usagi-san, let me say it," I urged him, "You promised."

He receded rather reluctantly but leaned back on the chair. Now, Nii-san was paying more attention. At least he wasn't drinking anymore.

"What is it? Have you decided to move in? I told you –" he began again, and I prepared myself to interject.

If I spoke quickly enough, then it would get through to him without any more confusion. I had to tell him the nature of our relationship. What his brother and his best friend had been doing the past four years together. I had to tell him now.

* * *

 **Hi guys! Long time no see! This fanfic was inspired by the latest chapter - I just couldn't wait until Misaki finally tells his brother, so I had to write this.**

 **Please do leave a review to let me know what you think - or what you think should happen. I'm open to suggestions and I'm so happy to be back and writing! Expect regular updates because I'm so excited about this! Ahh!**

 **Thanks for reading! Until next time.**


	2. Chapter 2

Just come out and say it, you chicken. You've done it before; why can't you just do it again? It's not difficult! But no matter how hard I screamed on the inside, all that came out was a weak: "Nii-san…"

The next words were caught in my throat.

 _I'm in love with Usagi-san. We have been dating for four years._

I just had to say it.

I gave Usagi-san a tight squeeze.

By now, Nii-san was frowning. "Is everything alright, Misaki? Tell me what's going on. Usagi?"

He turned desperately to his best friend for answers, but I couldn't let him. Courage. I need courage.

"Nii-san, I'm –"

Nii-san stood up abruptly, expression hard. His hand was raised in a gesture that said stop. And I immediately held my breath.

Had he figured out what I was going to say? In fact, had he known all this time? Would I ever be able to say it out loud? Was he angry?

"Sorry, I need to take this," Nii-san sighed, reaching into his back pocket. He looked at the vibrating phone and gave a resounding groan. "It's from work. Sorry, Misaki, Usagi. I'll be back in a second."

The moment he left the table, I let out a sigh of relief. I had thought I was getting disowned for a second and it scared me. I don't think my heart has ever pounded that hard before.

"You're getting there," Usagi-san assured me, "It takes time."

I was getting frustrated from him saying that. It was almost as if he wanted to make this torture last, even though I knew he would never want that. I was the one holding him back. And I still was.

Then Nii-san had run back, a deeper frown on his face.

"There's been an accident at work and they need to bring everyone in. I'm so sorry, Misaki, I'll have to leave dinner. Usagi, I'm sorry about this but would you be able to take my wife and son back home?"

"Of course. Good luck with work. Call me if you need help," Usagi-san replied.

Nii-san smiled softly, "Thank you. I'll make it up to you, Misaki. I promise."

His eyes were full of regret and I couldn't let my own feelings get in the way of that. So I gave him a comforting smile in return.

"It's okay; you can't help it. Hurry and go before Mahiro catches you."

He nodded in agreement. After another apologetic nod, he was dashing off again almost leaving a trail of dust in his wake. I wondered if this was what it was like to work for a company. Is this the type of life I would have to lead?

"Well, that went well," I exasperated. I reached for the sake cup and downed the whole thing.

Usagi-san opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything, the little bundle of joy had come bouncing onto my lap.

"I went all by myself!" Mahiro declared, puffing his cheeks out.

I laughed forcibly, "That's great!"

He continued blubbering on about his grown-up talents as Nee-san approached us cautiously.

"How… Is everything okay?" she asked quietly.

Luckily, Usagi-san managed to explain it all and even gave thanks for her consideration in my stead. Mahiro was now busy reaching for my sake cup and I had to wrestle it from him.

"What bad timing," she sighed, "But we can always rearrange. Or you could both come around. You are welcome any time. Mahiro would be very happy."

"Thank you for your kind offer. Only, we've booked a trip to Greece for a week before Misaki starts work."

"Oh, that's alright. No need to rush."

"That's what I keep telling him," Usagi-san shrugged.

There it is again.

"Mitaki, where's Papa?" Mahiro asked.

"He had to help somebody at work," I answered swiftly, "But since he's not here, let's have lots of desserts. We can have ice cream and cake."

There was a flicker of emotion on his small face and it reminded me a lot of Nii-san. But luckily, he settled for a grin and asked to see the dessert menu.

What I would give to be a kid again.

* * *

Dinner ended unexpectedly early since Mahiro pretty much knocked himself out with ice-cream and my own disappointment had manifested into fatigue, so much that I didn't even bat an eyelash when Usagi-san called taxi. When we dropped Nee-san and Mahiro off, I finally let myself slump.

The emotional trauma had drained away at me slowly and all those sleepless nights caught up to me. I could barely keep my eyes open as the taxi tilted me back and forth.

"We could catch him tomorrow before we leave," Usagi-san suggested, "Or we could cancel the trip."

I sat up abruptly.

"What? N-no," I stammered from utter shock, "Of course not. We're not cancelling our trip. It's not –"

 _That important._

But it was.

"You'll be worrying about it all the time; you won't be able to enjoy yourself,"

"I won't."

"We can push it back one day."

I groaned, "But the adjustment fees and the itinerary we made would go to waste. Plus, you took time off work and Aizawa-san actually approved it."

"I'll handle it."

I scowled, already knowing what Usagi-san was plotting.

"You can't run from work and I won't let you pay for me. We're supposed to have fun on this trip."

"It will be. Anywhere's fun with you."

I blushed furiously, unable to handle the switch in tone. Honestly, Usagi-san and his way with words – no wonder he's an author. He always knows what to say.

"… Thanks. For looking out for me."

The words barely left my mouth, but I needed them to as embarrassing as they were. Usagi-san was nothing but supportive all this time. I felt like I was taking advantage of it.

He gave me a stern look.

"I've told you before. I don't understand family much, or why you care about it very much. But I know you're important to me. So long as you're happy, that's all that matters."

For what seemed like the hundredth time today, I felt tears welling up.

Usagi-san wasn't just supportive. He was kind. Too kind.

It reminded me of when we met, and all he wanted was just for Nii-san to be happy. He would even give up his own happiness for that and I…

"Why are you crying?"

Why is it that Usagi-san can bring out this much emotion in me and make me face my brother each time? It's always been like this. It always ends in tears.

"I'm not," I cleared my throat, "Excuse me, if you could just turn here? That's it there. Thank you."

The taxi slowed to a stop and I hurried out and left Usagi-san behind me. But damn his long legs, just a few strides and he had caught up.

"Misaki."

He pinned me against the door. I immediately shielded my face from him; I couldn't let him see me like this. I couldn't.

"Look at me."

His demanding voice was much more convincing than my raised defence. He lightly lifted my chin towards him. His face was so close to me that I could count his eyelashes.

"You're so silly," he said slowly, his breath on me.

"I –"

My hand reached before me and opened the door.

"I need a shower!" I declared loudly as I stepped inside, "And I should – Ah!"

I screamed as I heard the crashes. There were shadows crumbling into each other and falling into the ground. Luckily I had reacted quickly enough not to be caught under the mess. I quickly reached for the lights to see clearly.

Boxes?

"What the hell is this?" I yelled in disbelief.

There were cardboard boxes scattered around the entire apartment. I swear some was even in the kitchen. How were we supposed to use the hallway? What the heck was in there?

"They came in this morning," Usagi-san replied calmly.

Calmly!

How was he unphased by this? And did he approve of this? Wait. Did he plan all of this?

"What is this?" I exclaimed, trying to read the labels on the boxes.

"I don't know. They're addressed to you and I received at least five different ones. I was in too much of a rush to care."

"This one… Ah! It's from Kaoruko-san. She already sent me a message, I didn't think she'd mail me something from France," I muttered to myself as I tore it open. "Oh wow! They're flowers… Fake flowers?"

I reached down to pick one up. It felt… crumbly, but the colours were unbelievably vibrant and the fragrant was artificially sweet.

"Usagi-san," I exclaimed, "She made me sugar flowers! Or… icing? I'm not sure. But look how pretty they are. I really ought to send something back. Oh, I know. I'll send her a text now…"

I took out my phone quickly and snapped a picture. I should probably ask after Mizuki too. I wonder if they're doing alright. Maybe I should ask when they'll be in Japan next.

"Misaki."

"Uh-huh?"

"Misaki."

I lifted my head to look at him. On his face was the devil. Or at least something distinctly evil – the way he looks when he's woken up in the morning. And in his hand, clenched tightly is a large gift basket of… 'The Kan'?

"Why is he still sending you things?" he grunted out.

Oh.

"I – I don't know."

But I really want that gift basket.

Usagi-san said nothing but turned towards the bin.

"No!" I yelled, dashing after him and using all my strength to pull him back. "You can't do that! These are presents. People put thought into this."

"Exactly why you can't have his; you shouldn't have any thoughts of him, ever."

"Usagi-san!"

We wrestle for a while longer until something clicked in my head. Nii-san's present and Todo's and the senseis' and oh-my-god-I-forgot-my-diploma.

"Usagi-san! I need to go to the car!" I bellowed, running to get my jacket. If I started running now then I could get there in fifteen minutes maybe?

"Why?"

"I left my stuff there!"

"The university will be shut by now. You can get it tomorrow."

"I can't," I protested as I slipped on my shoes. If I had to climb through the gates, then I will. Imagine that: a desperate graduate trespassing to get back into university.

"I'm coming with you," he said, reaching for his jacket.

"No, it's okay. I can go there myself. I'll just run -"

"I have the keys."

I forgot that.

"You stay here. I'll drive the car back so it won't take as long."

"But –"

He just gave me a look that left no room for argument. (Plus, if he was gone then I could probably hide The Kan gift basket somewhere.) Instead I gave my thanks and he headed off quickly. Now the condo was empty yet simultaneously filled with stuff. It felt like I was moving out.

I shook that thought out of my head.

Usagi-san had said I would stay. And I plan on staying. Nothing can change that.

I stared at the heap of presents and felt something warm bubbling inside me. It was surprisingly touching to have so much gifted to you, as if you were someone so important. It made me happy. I tried to tidy the small things first: Aikawa-san sent a basket of high-end sweets, Isaka-san had written a card and some distant relatives had sent bouquets of flowers.

At least now there was space to walk about.

I turned to the stack of boxes leaning against the wall. They were all packaged the same so I assumed they would be from the same person. I wonder who would bother to send so much. I peered at the label…

"Usagi-nii? Usagi-chichi?"

What the heck.

Usagi-san might lose his mind if he found out. I would have to shred the address labels and discretely send my thank you messages.

This crazy Usami family just don't stop.

I couldn't help but smile to myself. What did he mean he didn't understand family? Sure, his family is extremely dysfunctional but they're here. And it… It makes me feel like I'm part of it.

Oh crap, I'm making myself blush with these stupid thoughts.

A family with Usagi-san…

"Ah, jeez!" I yelped, "I'm taking a shower. These boxes can wait."

* * *

By the time I had showered and hung up my new suit for dry cleaning, Usagi-san had returned.

"I'm home."

"Welcome back," I called at him from upstairs.

I rushed down to help him with the load. More flowers, more chocolates, more cards, more stuffed animals, more presents…

"Ah, my diploma," I grinned as I felt it in my hands again.

Wow, I'm no longer a student. What a strange thing. After being one for around twenty years, you'd think I'd be attached to it. Here was everything that I had to show for it.

"Should we hang it up?" Usagi-san asked with a gentle smile.

"Hm, I might just keep it in my room."

"I'll call somebody tomorrow to have it professionally done. We'll put it next to the television so people will see it."

He said it with such an honest look on his face, I would have laughed if I wasn't embarrassed.

"Stop it, Usagi-san. That'll be too much. We should worry about what to do with the flowers. They'll wilt the week we're away," I sighed, staring at all the bouquets and then at the bombardment of boxes. I don't even want to start worrying about what's in there. More sculptures of bears? Graduation themed? Strawberries? God, I hope not. I'm getting kind of tired of eating them every day.

But Usagi-san wasn't listening. He was… unhooking the buzzer?

"What are you doing?"

"The holiday begins now," he declared, looming over me, "You're all mine now."

But I always was.

Not that I would say it. Who knew how Usagi-san would respond? Nonetheless my heart started beating erratically again and blood rushed to my face.

"I, um…"

"I've been handing you around to people the entire day and they don't seem to stop. We have to make up for time."

I felt backed up against the wall.

"I sat in that hall with the rest of your family but you were still so far away. And then you spent all that time chatting to your friends and colleagues."

"You were talking to Kamijou too," I refuted.

He glared at me, "So you were paying attention to me then?"

He made it seem like I never cared to look when in fact, whenever I'm in a room, the first thing I do is see if Usagi-san is there. I knew his eyes were on me the entire time I was in the ceremony and that made me more nervous than falling flat on my face in front of everybody.

"I…"

"I want – no, I need all your attention. I wanted to give you this after speaking with Takahiro but I don't care anymore. That's only fair."

"Y-you already got me that suit. And we have the trip coming up, which you planned most of, and –"

He took out a small box from his pocket.

No.

"I've gotten you everything I could think of these past few years. I've given you myself. And you don't seem to like expensive things, but I thought I'd buy this anyway."

It can't be.

"You didn't really think I would just get you a suit, right?"

Oh fuck.

I might have a heart attack.

He flicked the lid open and there, in all its shimmering glory, was a silver ring.

"The ring is meant to represent eternity, but I don't think that's enough. I kept telling myself that we have time but we don't. I can't afford to waste any. You're the only one for me Misaki. Nobody can take you away."

"W-what?" I stammered, unable to control myself. It was like I wasn't even in my body anymore. Why was it always like this? Usagi-san seemed to know me better than I did. "W-was that something you took from your novels? That's so cheesy. Stop fooling around."

"Misaki."

He linked our hands together – cold and warm at the same time.

To other people, it might not seem obvious, but Usagi-san is extremely intimate in the best of ways. Sometimes when I'm cooking, he'll just hug me from behind. Or when I'm lying across the sofa, his hand will rest gently on my thigh. When we're in bed the morning after, he lightly rests his hands on my face, as if admiring a statue. Even the smallest of touches tells me how much he cares, and it fills me with adoration.

"I'm sorry we couldn't tell Takahiro today, but we'll get our chance. So for now, can I just make love to you?"

How was I supposed to say no?

* * *

Wow guys! I am so overwhelmed by your support. You are amazing! You are honestly the reason why I'm able to feel so excited to write. (I've drafted up a few chapters already, hehe, but wanted to keep it consistent.)

Okay, time for opinions. Do you guys think I should rack the rating up and include sex scenes or should we keep this rated T?

 **ukewithdarksoul -** First, I love your name and that Killing Stalking photo is great. Thank you so much for being my first reviewer and for complimenting my title; I stressed over it because I forgot to come up with one. Glad to know it's working, lol.

 **NekoAyane -** I've done it! Yay! Thank you! I hope I can keep hooking you in because I think we're about to go on tangents with this fic. Hope you enjoy!

 **Shiranai Atsune -** Takahiro's reaction will remain a secret for now, mwahaha! But I do apologise for the confusion - I meant the chapter before the Christmas one (you know which one I mean ;) ) Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

 **Silent ShadowRaven -** Omg, yes. Manami is such a precious cinnamon roll. And so are you! You're so sweet for writing such a kind review. I'm not even exaggerating that I kept looking back at the reviews and thinking about ideas for the future chapters. Drama will definitely be needed but I can't promise it'll be any good. Please bear with me. I'm so glad you like Misaki - it's actually a fear of mine that I won't stick to the characterisation in the manga so I stuck to a first-person narrative. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you know how much I value your feedback. It honestly makes my day :)

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** Ahhh thank you for your support! I really appreciate it. I thought it was really important that they come out on their own terms and I'm so glad you enjoy that. And I really hope you enjoy the reveal that's going to happen soon.

 **Guest -** Are you the same person?! Thank you for keeping me on my toes, haha! I promise regular updates if I get regular reviews. Equivalent exchange to keep the momentum. You're honestly so cute though! Thanks for waiting and hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

"We're late!" I yelped as I shook Usagi-san awake next to me, "We haven't packed yet. The flight's in four hours. Usagi-san, hurry up!"

Being the grouch that he was, of course he didn't wake up. He laid in bed while I scurried around like a madman trying to pack our bags. We should have done this yesterday – if we hadn't gotten distracted.

By some miracle, I managed to shove in a week's worth of clothes into two suitcases within half an hour and get Usagi-san up and going. We would just have to eat breakfast at the airport if we had time. Everything began to blur as we got the airport. Usagi-san was awake enough to handle it all, so by the time we were actually on the plane, I had fallen back to sleep.

* * *

"Misaki, we're at the hotel."

"Hm?"

I rubbed my eyes and blinked myself awake. My entire body felt shattered, but I could tell I was leaning on Usagi-san. And it was warm. It was really, really warm.

"Come on. We need to check in."

I nodded drowsily and came out of the taxi we were in.

It was only then that I came to realise the fact I was really in a foreign country. There was nothing familiar here, but it wasn't unwelcome.

I slowly made my way into the hotel, which looked more like a giant dome. But Usagi-san was walking confidently into it, so I just had to follow closely behind.

Everything was really… white. The pebbly walls, the smooth floor, the simple furniture, the chair I was sitting on, the entire building seemed to be white. But it wasn't reminiscent of a hospital. It was a pearlier sort.

What was this place called again?

I really should have checked more clearly, but my English was so terribly that Usagi-san took over for me. He had promised this would be a trip with minimal human contact and full of relaxation. Although, honestly, I just thought I might need a distraction after the whole ordeal with Nii-san. And to think I didn't even get to do it.

I sighed.

No point thinking about it.

"Misaki," he called me, "Let's go to our room."

I immediately jumped to my feet, amazed Usagi-san got everything sorted so quickly. I really need to start paying more attention.

He handed me one of the key cards while muttering, "Not that you'll need it," and took my hand. I was about to retort but then I realised that nobody here would care. And then I realised, there was nobody here, besides the smiling lady at the counter. So I let him drag me by the hand further into the hotel.

I had always pictured hotels to be fancy places with intricate carpets and medieval paintings on the wall, or at least with an elevator. But this place seemed to be made of white stone and nothing else – it was like we were living inside a beautiful seashell.

"Usagi-san, where are we again?" I asked, whilst admiring how immaculate everything was.

"One of the Greek islands."

"Wow."

It seemed surreal. But I didn't have much time to stand in awe since Usagi-san had pulled me into the room.

"Is that a pool?" I exclaimed.

The first thing that my eyes landed on was the extensive glass barrier that extended to the edge. And beyond the clear pool, was the heavy blue of the sea. Water was surrounding us on all sides, as if we were in an aquarium.

"Inside the room? Oh my god… Oh wait. And a jacuzzi on the other side! Usagi-san, look! They even gave us fruits, and it's made into a tower. Whoa. This is amazing."

I was broken from my stupor by Usagi-san rumbling laughter.

"What's so funny?" I frowned.

"Nothing," he smiled brilliantly at me.

It made me feel all warm again. I had forgotten this was Usagi-san's trip as well. And when he lets loose, he's a whole new person. Not that I didn't love all of him, but holiday Usagi-san really was a spectacle. And the way he laughed…

"I wanted the best for you," he explained, "So I had to make sure we got everything they could offer."

"How are we supposed to sleep if the room extends into a swimming pool though?" I asked quizzically.

What if it started raining? Or it got really cold? Although Greece is quite hot. Maybe they don't ever feel hot? That can't be right.

"There's a screen," Usagi-san explained, handing me a remote.

I grimaced at it. It's all in Greek – or what I assumed was Greek. So I placed it back down on the table and continued my exploration of the room. If it could be called a room. It was almost the size of the condo and it looked even bigger due to the reflection of the white walls.

"Even the bathroom's completely white," I gasped in surprise, "Is this a themed-hotel?"

Usagi-san gave a smirk. "You'll see. I'm going to shower."

I felt a little uncomfortable. You know, when Usagi-san has 'secrets', they're usually bad for me. But I have to say in these past few days, he really threw me off guard.

I smiled down at my ring. He must have slipped it on me when I was asleep.

I could live with it.

* * *

Although Usagi-san had said there was nothing to do here and that we should just stay in bed for the entire week, I figured we could try sightseeing.

"It's a small island," he groaned, "Tiny. There's nothing to see."

"They say there's a city at the edge of the island we need to see. There are shops there and the view of the sunset is supposedly amazing. And there are beaches too. We spent the whole of yesterday sleeping, we have to do something today," I retorted, slathering sun-cream all over my body.

"Hm. When did you start to read the brochures?" Usagi-san asked, staring at me intently, "They're all in English as well."

I scoffed, "What did you expect of me? A new graduate."

Translate. I used Google translate last night while he was in a deep slumber.

"Huh."

He reached over to me and pulled me into an embrace. I could hear the odd squish from the cream against our bodies.

"Usagi-san!"

"I'm just getting some cream," he murmured, as his hands moved across my chest and slowly downwards.

"There's no cream there!" I yelped as I shoved him away, "We're heading out. And we're going to walk to this city centre."

And then I ran out of the room, trying to calm myself down. I don't know what it is about this place – the foreign-ness, the brightness, the heat, the anonymity – but it made me feel strangely jumpy. I felt on the edge, even with Usagi-san around me. Or was it because Usagi-san is around me? I don't even know.

I sighed and made my way to the quiet reception, where the same girl from the day before was smiling at me. I remembered her because she had the deepest dimples I had ever seen, and her dark hair was pulled into an extravagant braid. Nobody in Japan had that kind of hairstyle.

"Good morning," she said with a heavy accent. It sounded nothing like the CDs we practiced with at school. And I could only reply with a nervous nod of the head.

She said something again, but I didn't quite catch it. I made a confused face.

"Where?" she asked again, slowly.

Oh. As in where was I going?

"City," I replied in my best English, trying to find the brochure so I could point at the pictures instead. I couldn't even remember the names of these places. Greek is so difficult.

"Room number?"

Oh crap. Did we even have a room number? I forgot to check. I was so tired yesterday.

So I turned around and pointed towards the direction of our room. It was the only one on that corner facing the sea.

"Ah, the honeymoon suite."

The what.

"Two people," she continued, "Bus, very cheap."

"Uh…"

I wish she could backtrack. When the heck did I agree to the honeymoon suite? But hang on. There's only one king-sized bed there and it was such a massive room – it kind of makes more sense. Was I really just that tired that I missed all the hints? And the shared jacuzzi, the private pool, the gorgeous white…

"Misaki," Usagi-san called out to me, "Come on. Let's go then."

"You booked the honeymoon suite," I stated more than asked. Of course he did. He's Usagi-san.

"I wanted the best," he shrugged and held my hand, "And I thought you said you wanted to go all out on this trip."

"I did. I just didn't think…"

I don't know what I was thinking. If I let Usagi-san plan it, I should be more surprised that I'm not in some extravagant palace. No wonder things ran so smoothly…

"Come on. You want to go to Oia, right?"

"Where?" I squinted my eyes.

"Oia."

How was he pronouncing that? It sounded like a whistle.

"Good morning," the receptionist beamed at us again. And she was firing rapid English at Usagi-san now, who responded eloquently. I stood awkwardly as they carried on the conversation, in fact I felt like I should have just turned around and left. But then the receptionist laughed.

"Thank you," Usagi-san said to her, before he dragged me off.

She waved at us and before we left the hotel, I heard her say, "What a cute couple."

* * *

Usagi-san didn't let go of my hand until we reached the… car?

"I rented it," he explained before I could ask.

I had the feeling I didn't really pay for half of this trip. Maybe I only payed for the flight.

"You want to see Oia, right?"

"Well, yeah."

He ruffled my hair. "Then just relax."

Relax, he says. But he was already reeving the engine. He seemed to know where he was going too. I could just stare out of the window and enjoy the view. And what a view it was.

"Whoa."

I'd only seen such a scene in paintings – a clear blue sky, a shimmering ocean, fluffy white clouds floating above me and a single road that led onwards. It seemed heavenly. There never seemed to be a blue this radiant before, this true. And I was getting lost in it, with Usagi-san.

"Usagi-san, this is beautiful!"

He didn't say anything, but I assumed he was focussing on driving.

Oh well. We had the entire week here. We could just walk out of our room to this. How amazing was that? I should take some pictures to show Nii-san…

I slumped back into my seat.

Right.

Yeah. I forgot that for a second. Maybe I could use this peaceful space to think about what to say.

 _Nii-san, I love Usagi-san._

No. That was too much.

 _Nii-san, I'm dating Usagi-san._

Did that seem to casual?

 _Nii-san, I'm sorry._

I felt tears crawling up to my eyes. Damn it. When did I become such a crybaby?

But it just seemed so demeaning. It would seem like I'm apologizing for the relationship that I want, as if being with Usagi-san was shameful. And it wasn't. It couldn't be. Usagi-san was everything. I was the one who was sorry. I'm sorry for hiding everything. I'm sorry for not telling Nii-san the truth from the beginning. I'm sorry.

"Misaki."

The car had stopped. When did we pull up?

"Misaki, why are you crying?"

Oh great. This again.

I rubbed at my wet cheeks, unable to stop the tears from flowing.

"I don't know," I said quietly, "I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"I don't know… why. Why am I crying? I'm not upset," I sniffled, hating how weak my voice sounded. It ought to be filled with conviction. I'm proud of what I have.

Usagi-san found my hand, trailed it up to my shoulder and let it rest there. My shoulder was trembling, I knew. And then his other hand cupped my cheek, all disgustingly sticky from the mixture of tears and sun-cream. I must look horrendous too. But he kissed me softly.

And we stayed there, lips locked, eyes closed, hearts pounding.

Time seemed lost on us, as we stood there overlooking the scenery. All I needed was to touch Usagi-san. My hands were gripping the back of his shirt and I was pressed against him tightly. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to resist.

When he finally pulled away, he wiped away the final drops of tears and gave me a gentle smile.

"I want to touch you. Should we head back?" he asked, the low hum of his voice more attractive than any sunset could be.

"Y-you're the one driving."

"You're right."

And with one arm, he threw me over his shoulder and walked back to the car as I kicked and screamed. We were on the road! What was he thinking? And it was so frustrating that he could so easily pick me up. I should start working out and build some muscle.

"Let me down!"

And he plopped me into the passenger seat. But we didn't go anywhere.

* * *

We were lucky this island is almost deserted because I'm pretty sure having sex in the car like that was illegal. But I didn't care that much, not when I felt this satisfied.

"We can still make it to Oia. It's at the tip of the island," Usagi-san said off-handedly, "The island is shaped like a crescent moon and we're about halfway."

I really didn't care.

"Is it really that pretty?" I asked sceptically.

I mean, from the few minutes we were driving on the road, it didn't look like there was much to do around here. Sure, the ocean was there and the hotel seemed fun but what else?

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

I looked out to the vast skyline that seemed to blend with the calm sea. This must be what peace is.

"The sun is setting anyway," I decided, "We can just watch it from here and go to Oia another day."

Usagi-san seemed deep in thought. Then he revved the engine.

"Usagi-san?"

"Put on your seatbelt."

And we were back on the road.

* * *

"The beach?" I frowned, as we got out the door.

"It's the Red Beach," he explained, not that it helped.

This was still a beach, and I didn't bring anything to go swimming. I suppose it was a bit late for a swim anyway.

Usagi-san took my hand again and we made our way past a barricade of rocks. They looked like boulders – big, grey and boring. But as we went further, it started to change hue, almost in time with the sun. It was as if the light was diluting it all, making the stones melt into a crimson to match the sky.

"Wow."

There were honestly no words.

The sun was a yolk, dipping down and tinting the white of the sea into a warm tone of orange. The sky was a gradient of blue to red, augmented by the scarlet beach. I didn't think such a combination of colours was possible in a natural setting.

"Nobody comes to the beach around this time. They're either at the city or at sea," Usagi-san explained, "I thought we could use some privacy. I just wanted it to be us."

I gave a smile.

This whole day had been more private than most.

Nobody here cared much for us and we didn't have to care much for them. I didn't have to worry about appearances or university anymore. This was the best time of my life.

I plopped myself onto the sand – which was also surprisingly red – and stared out into the scene. It was just like a masterpiece; I couldn't pin down which part I wanted to concentrate on.

"I thought the sunset would look best from the city, but I guess it's fine from here too," Usagi-san said.

I glanced over at Usagi-san, who was admiring it all with a cool look on his face. I wonder what he thought of it.

"A sunset should look the same wherever it is, right?" I asked.

Usagi-san smiled knowingly.

"What is it?"

Did I say something stupid again?

"It's just, we come from the land of the rising sun and we flew all the way here to watch it set."

I let out a sudden bark of laughter at his insightful comment. Who even thinks like that?

"That's what you're thinking? Usagi-san, you really are unpredictable."

I let my laugh die down and then looked back at the sunset for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was so alluring and everchanging. The tiny tides were like meditation music and the gentle breeze was a light massage. And while I did think it was one of the marvels of nature…

"I think the sunset we saw back home is better."

"How so?"

"I don't know."

But I did.

Because back home, I could do the things I needed so that I could live the way I wanted.

* * *

Sorry this is a boring chapter guys, but the people have spoken and I have listened. (This is the closest I'll ever be to holding authority.) But firstly, thank you all for being so active with reviewing! The first thing I do in the morning is check them now. It's made me feel so good about writing and man, did I need the boost. I have decided that we should stick to the fluff - since it is Junjou Romantica, not Junjou Erotica. But still, I think this chapter is a bit... er, not fluffy? I don't know. I don't think it's my forte but I'd love to hear what you guys think. I'm worried it's boring but it's full-steam ahead from here!

 **ukewithdarksoul -** You are miraculously always first to review and I appreciate your approval - I really needed it. I hope you don't mind that I'm sticking to vague pauses in the story where they, er, do the deed. But I hope you still keep reading and still enjoy this story without the mature content!

 **Silent ShadowRaven -** It's funny you say that because when you review it makes my day too! I hope I'm not falling into cliches now - you seem to have my characters and inspiration all worked out. When the time comes we shall hold another vote for the engagement, mwahaha! But for the moment I think it should be ambiguous and they should concentrate on solving their Takahiro problem. (You should totally write a fic with your idea btw; I'd feel bad taking it from you.) And I was honestly laughing when I read your side-note because it's so true of me. It's not like I skipped over the sex scenes. Anyway, I hope this chapter lived up to expectations and thank you as always for your gracious words!

 **Shiranai Atsune -** Hehe, you tell me. I've dropped hints and everything but I'm sure if that's the direction I plan to take. I guess we'll find out together.

 **NekoAyane -** I love how you're completely aboard the wedding train and that you still find this cute. I hope you still do even if this chapter is a little dull. As for the proposal, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. But thank you for your support!

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** Thank goodness you liked that part with those two, because I was worried I had it all wrong. I'm so excited to hear what you think of this awkward one-on-one action in Greece.

 **EmoEmi36 -** As always, I love that you feed my insatiable hunger for reviews. You're absolutely amazing and your support goes beyond words. People always say it shows in action. Ahhh! I'm so happy you think I'm consistent because I think I'm losing my grasp on them, especially as we draw nearer the end - speaking of which, are you reading my notes? Don't put spoilers in the reviews! Now I have to change the whole thing! (Just kidding, but you're so close that I'm scared you can read my mind.) As for release time, I do aim for once a week but I don't know how sustainable that'll be so I can't promise a release time yet.

 **Guest -** Strangely enough the words 'Even if you think it's crap we will love it' made me feel extremely validated. And I don't know how to express to you how encouraging it is. It feels like a weight is lifted but also, now I don't want to disappoint you. So double-edged sword? But thank you so much! You're such a sweetheart.

 **Monanell -** Hehe, I was trying to keep with the theme that Misaki keeps receiving boxes for his graduation. I was going to make a closet joke then I thought it was going too far, lol. But man, I'm so happy you think it's well-written. I hope you're not too downhearted by my choice to stick to a T, but hey! Could I tempt you with a one-shot lemon if you keep reading? ;)

 **zentraedi -** Thank you for reviewing; I love hearing opinions! I think you might be right about the racey scenes ruining the vibes so I'll stick to this for now. If you don't mind me carrying on conversation (because I'm desperate for contact, lol), what's your favourite pairing for AC?

 **Elisha Kate Villamayor097 -** Your review was such a pleasant surprise for me! Just as I was editing this chapter I got the notification, so I hope you get to see this soon! Thank you for being so supportive and I hope you continue reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Usagi-san was undoubtedly the master of distraction. His touch was enough to fill my head for the days we remained confined in the hotel room. It felt like we had defiled every part of it - from the swimming pool to the closet - and I was certain all the staff here knew what we were doing. They had that look in their eye every time they came in with room service and I could only blush and look away.

I couldn't say I didn't enjoy it. This was a week's worth of heaven. A beautiful island, unique European cuisine, a big room and Usagi-san. No disruptions.

Except the humming of my conscience.

"Who are you writing a letter to?" Usagi-san asked, leaning over my shoulder.

He was dripping droplets of water onto me and I protected the paper in front of me. If he knew I was writing, why would he not dry his hair first?

"Nii-san," I replied quickly, but paused.

Then I scrunched up the pathetic piece of paper and chucked it into the bin. Usagi-san didn't even blink, just waited for an explanation.

"I was writing out what I would say," I began slowly and watched Usagi-san's face drop.

"You still –"

"I thought it would be a good idea to just send him a letter explaining everything and deal with the aftermath."

"Misaki, that's -"

"But he deserves more than that. He should hear it from me."

Usagi-san nodded with a somewhat proud look in his eye. And then he ruffled my hair.

"You're growing mature."

"I was always mature!"

And if he thought I was, why did he keep doing that?

"We'll be able to meet Takahiro soon," he said, as he drew out a cigarette from the packet on the table. I watched, mesmerised as he placed it between his lips.

"Usagi-san."

"Hm?"

"If you could, would you stay here forever?"

He took the cigarette out.

"I was just wondering," I said sheepishly, "Since it's such a pretty place. But this is my first time abroad so maybe there are other places just as pretty. I was just wondering what type of place you would like to stay at. Or maybe you don't like the food. Greek food is quite strange actually. It's very leafy and they eat lamb a lot. I don't think you would want to eat those all the time –"

"There's no point staying anywhere if you're not there."

I ceased my rambling. I seemed to remain frozen though.

"You know there's no way I would want to be somewhere you aren't. Even if Takahiro tries to take you away from me, I wouldn't let him. You'll be where I am."

It's not supposed to be romantic – it's a bold statement. It's too demanding, too forceful. But for some strange reason, it was comforting to me. It felt relieving to know that no matter the outcome that I would have Usagi-san. There was no doubt in my mind.

"Don't be afraid; I'm right here," he whispered to me, taking both my hands in his.

"I'm not…"

"Then stop worrying about how you'll tell him. Takahiro is a reasonable man. He won't react badly. You're his precious brother. I know how much he cares about you."

"And you're his trustworthy best friend," I choked out, "You don't think he'll feel betrayed?"

I immediately sank back.

What am I saying?

Betrayal? There's no betrayal. We committed no crime. Usagi-san didn't do anything. How could I have said that? I wasn't thinking. I'm never thinking. Not enough.

"Misaki, you're crying again," Usagi-san mumbled, cupping my cheek again and wiping away needless tears for what seemed like the hundredth time.

I hate myself for feeling this way, for needing his care.

"Maybe we shouldn't have come."

No.

No. Don't think that.

"I should have told Takahiro. Then you wouldn't have to be upset. This is my fault."

No. That's wrong.

"You promised me," I whispered through the fog of my voice, "You would let me do this. This is my fault. I'm sorry, Usagi-san. I'm sorry. But I'm scared. I don't want him… I don't want to lose him. Even though I know he has his own family and I have you, I don't want my brother to hate me. I don't want to lose my family…"

My voice wouldn't last. I had broken down into sobs, finally.

"Misaki."

He hugged me so I could bury my face into his chest. I wanted to be surrounded by his scent.

"I can't promise you anything except that I'll be by your side. Always. And I won't ever let you leave me, even if you decide you hate me, even if Takahiro hates me."

I bit down on my lip but the tears continued to fall.

* * *

The final day of the holiday came and I felt like I had done nothing but cry the entire time. Waiting seemed to make everything worse; all my confidence had faded away. I was determined to make the most of our last twenty-four hours in Greece.

"We've already seen it all," Usagi-san protested, "The sunsets, the beaches, the city."

"We didn't go to the city," I corrected him, "So we're going there before we leave. And we need to get souvenirs."

Usagi-san never rolls his eyes, but he does have this blank expression to replace it. And it was there now.

"We're going!" I declared, slathering sun cream over myself again.

I thought that the entirety of this island was the same hum of peace – the calm skies, the blue sea, the white clouds, the red stone. But when we got near to the city, I could hear the familiar bustle of people.

"Look out of the window," Usagi-san said.

I turned my gaze away from the sea and back to the road.

"W-whoa! Is that the city?"

Laying on the edge of the island, encapsulating it, was a beautiful collage of blue and white cubes, matching the idyllic scenery. They were swallowing up the entire hilltop. It was as if this island had no stop to beauty. And it looked exactly like our hotel.

"It's traditional for them," Usagi-san explained, "I thought you'd like it."

I did. Who wouldn't? This was paradise.

"This is amazing."

"And all from a volcano."

"Huh?"

"This island was made from a volcanic eruption. There's a long history but the occupants here rebuilt the island. Now, tourists come here in floods."

I hummed in agreement.

It was wonderful how a disaster could wind up being a blessing in disguise. I guess it doesn't count as a blessing when a group of people try their hardest and succeed. It's just human nature.

"What can we do here?" I asked instead.

"There are shops to buy souvenirs and restaurants to try."

I thought back to all the food we had at the hotel and sweat-dropped. I wondered if all Greek food really tasted like that – but I couldn't tell. Man, I should really practice my English. They could be serving me bird poop for all I know. (Not that I wouldn't find it delicious.)

"We haven't taken any pictures yet either," I added, "We really should."

Usagi-san didn't answer me but he linked our hands together as we left the car behind and headed for the city. The roads were bumpy but having that support really helped. I was so concentrated on not falling over that I didn't mind the stares we got either. I could really get used to this.

And that mouth-watering smell.

"What is that?"

Usagi-san looked around but I could only focus on the delicious scent. It was meat, I knew that much. But it was like smoked… or cooking. I'm not sure. But damn it, it smelled amazing.

"Over there."

He dragged me over to where the crowds were, sandwiched between the beautiful architecture. And I could hear a cacophony of different languages, blurring into a white noise.

"What is it?"

Usagi-san squinted at beyond the crowd. Thankfully, he was taller than most.

"A gyro."

"Gyro?"

"Looks like a wrap. With mixed meat."

And then he had started to shove people aside to get into line.

"Usagi-san, we don't have to. It's really busy and we should be spending time sightseeing."

"This is sightseeing," he countered quickly, "And I want to try street food."

"Right…"

But glancing at the queue ahead, I couldn't imagine us having enough time to do anything else. Nonetheless, I stood there waiting with him. It was a comfortable silence between us, contrasting the hustler around us.

By the time we got the gyros, it was sunset time and the area was swallowed by a deep red.

"It is prettier here," I mumbled to myself, "With the blue and the white."

"Hm." Usagi-san handed me the gyro to me, in the form of a crepe. It looked so interesting and I was salivating just looking at it. I couldn't even find time to savour it.

"Thank you," I said swiftly and took a massive bite.

Immediately, the juice from the juicy meat, the fresh tomatoes, the crunchy lettuce, the light mayo…

"Oh my god."

Was there a recipe for this? Screw that – could I ever taste this again anywhere but here? Once I leave this place I will never again be able to get a taste of heaven.

"Usagi-san, you have to try this," I grinned, handing him the gyro.

It was only then I realised he only bought one. We had lined up all that time just to get one gyro? But it wasn't the only thing I realised. Usagi-san was just standing there, watching me with the kindest smile on his face. It made me flush.

"Usagi-san…"

He leaned over to take a bite and I almost jumped.

"You're right," he murmured next to my ear, "It's good."

"Then you should have gotten one for yourself," I muttered back.

He smiled and pecked me on the cheek.

Now I really did jump. Luckily, the gyro was safe in my hand. And Usagi-san had the most content expression on his face. And I wondered if I had the same. Was it just the holiday bug or was this bliss?

"Couples come here for honeymoons and wedding photos," Usagi-san said as stoic as he usually was.

"It's got the scenery for it," I mumbled, taking another bite of the gyro.

From here, we could overlook the rest of the island and we could see the vast expanse of blue squared buildings. And with the sea and the sun looming over us, it was hard to believe that nobody ever mentioned this place before. At least I had never heard of it.

"Would you want photos taken here? For a wedding?"

"Huh?"

"Our wedding, specifically."

"Wait. Wait. What?" I was blubbering now and it wasn't just because my mouth was full of gyro.

"I suppose a city scene would be just as good."

"No. Usagi-san, what are you talking about? A wedding? M-Marriage?" I exclaimed, flustered beyond belief, "We never even talked about this."

"Well, you took the ring, didn't you?"

"That's not the same as getting married!"

Usagi-san heaved a deep sigh and I wanted to punch him. I really did. How dare he be agitated over something that he decided by himself? He didn't even ask me!

"So you want me to propose? There are churches everywhere here."

He cocked a brow.

"I don't want you to do anything," I gritted out, embarrassed more than anything else, "And we are not getting married."

And I saw Usagi-san's face drop. That came out bad. I didn't mean it like that. I didn't want to say that. I only meant that…

"Until we can tell Nii-san, or at least I can afford a ring like this," I lifted my right hand up to feel the heavy silver, "We shouldn't get married."

He was silent for a while and I grew worried that I couldn't take back everything I said.

"But we will."

I smiled softly and leaned my head against his shoulder. I didn't even mind that we were standing by what I assumed was the busiest place on the island. I didn't mind that there were hundreds of tourists staring at us.

"We will."

* * *

I was sorry to leave Greece, but I was sure this wouldn't be my last time abroad with Usagi-san. So with a smile on my face, I departed the pleasant hotel, the beautiful sunset, the peaceful roads and arrived at the small airport.

Everything was going smoothly – we hadn't forgotten anything, we made it on time – but it was only when we were given out tickets that I realised there was a problem.

"Usagi-san," I gritted out, "What the hell is this?"

"A lounge invite."

"Why the hell do we have a lounge invite?" I yelped, waving my now-premium ticket around.

This is what happens when you let Usagi-san do anything. He just flips it a whole 180 degrees. And then amplifies it so you can't predict even a little of what he'll do.

And damn it. It means I really didn't pay for anything. It was so infuriating. Just when I thought I was becoming an adult and managing things.

"We had it before, but you were asleep," he remarked aside and continued through, ignoring my heated albeit one-sided argument.

"Usagi-san!"

But of course he wasn't listening anymore.

This guy just too clueless. He was already making his way to the lounge and waiting for me to follow.

"I thought you said you wanted to know what a normal life is," I grunted as I trailed behind him. "This isn't normal."

"Really? Aikawa-san says it is."

I couldn't help but chastise her in my head. How could you give in to such luxury?

But it would be hypocritical of me at this moment in time. I had to suck it up, and enter the lavish lounge area that I daren't set my eyes upon.

I lost myself in there. I truly did – with the variety of snacks, fancy beverages, television, a resting area… Thankfully, we got a reminder when our gate arrived and it was time to board.

Man, I can truly say I regret nothing.

But I'm still angry at Usagi-san. (Not really, but I have to pretend to be so he knows this can't be a regular thing. But I suppose it's a holiday – No! I can't. This isn't sustainable.)

"And this is your seat," the stewardess smiled at me.

"Thank y-"

I mean, it shouldn't really be a surprise. If you get a lounge invite, you won't be in economy class. It's just… I didn't expect to be in first class. I did the only thing I knew how – I glowered at Usagi-san.

"It's too late to change now," he shrugged as he took the seat beside me.

"Usagi-san!"

"I don't know why you're complaining. You were shamelessly making full use of the buffet in the lounge."

I flushed bright red. "I was sampling."

"Well, you can sample these seats too."

I hated how comfortable Usagi-san was. Even at the lounge, he just had a cup of coffee and leaned back, watching me scarf down plate after plate of food. But I suppose that's how he would act regardless of where he was. It didn't make me feel better though.

"Usagi-san, are you even listening to me?"

"Always."

"Then why did you -?"

"It's our holiday," he reiterated, "And we probably won't get one for a while with your new job and Takahiro."

I gulped.

"I just want you to enjoy yourself – from beginning to end."

Damn it. Damn it all.

So it was just my trip in the end. I was self-absorbed all through our rare trip. I ruined it. I spoiled the whole thing while Usagi-san just stood by and watched. I destroyed the chance for a happy trip.

"Misaki."

He spoils me too much.

"All I want from you is a smile."

He loves me too much.

"Stop blaming yourself."

And he understands me way too much.

I plopped myself onto the comfortable seat in resignation and drew up the blankets over my head. I wasn't going to cry. I needed to smile.

"I had fun," I mumbled, perhaps too quietly. Maybe Usagi-san couldn't hear me, which could be a good thing.

"I thought this was the best trip ever. I really liked swimming in a private pool because nobody could see me. I really liked the view from the beach. I really liked that gyro we had. I really liked doing tourist things. I think I really like being abroad… as long as it's with you. I have the best time when I'm with you so, what I'm saying is, I hope we get to do this again soon. Except I'll pay for it next time."

There was nothing for a while except the rumbling of the plane, the gentle voices of the stewardess and my own heavy breathing. But then I felt pressure on my head. I would know that touch from anywhere.

"I'm glad you had fun."

* * *

 **And we're finally getting back into the drama next chapter - I'm so excited for you guys to read it! I hope you enjoyed our side-trip to Greece even if it was a little rushed. And as always, thank you sticking with me to this point.**

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** I am so glad to hear you say that. I have succeeded in humour! (Kind of.) But I hope I can slide a little more laughable moments in before 'shit gets real'. Thank you for reviewing as always and complimenting my fic, it means so much to me.

 **ukewithdarksoul -** Aww thanks, I'm always worried what I consider fluff isn't really fluff. I think I need a definition of that but I hope this chapter was to your taste. I'm looking forward to hearing your opinions!

 **Monanell -** What? Your English isn't perfect? Lemme tell you that you speak like a true critic - it's amazing. I am so happy you liked that chapter and hopefully this one matches up. I feel like you've seen right through me, because I was quite nervous about writing scenery. Trying to describe something that's completely in your head can be daunting but when you said it got through to you, I let out a sigh of relief. So thank you very much.

 **NekoAyane -** And for your precious review, I have squeezed in a little promise scene in there. I'm thinking that having Misaki propose would be a funny idea to play with but we shall see! One problem at a time. Thank you for being so patient with me. I promise next chapter will drive into the action.

 **EmoEmi36 -** I don't understand how each review has been so unbelievably supportive. I think this is the sweetest fandom I've ever written for, so you can bet that I'll be sticking around. I'd be happy to read anything! Your words mean so much to me, so how could I neglect that? It actually really touched me because this week my essay was torn to shreds (metaphorically) by my teacher, and it made me feel kind of worthless as a writer. But thank you so much for appreciating what I write.

 **Shiranai Atsune -** I did consider that, haha, but then after asking (googling) I found out that it's actually considered a major criminal offence? I decided I'd have to restrict the happy holiday couple. And the last line is meant to keep you on your toes - hehe. Thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad you put down your reaction to what happened in each scene.

 **Difying Gravity -** Then you have come at the right time(ish)! Although I think the whole proposing thing will take a bit more planning. Maybe as a prologue? But now it's definitely a draft in my head. Thank you for the support!

 **fatimaestrellitadeplatagmail** \- And I love that you reviewed! I hope you love it even more as we progress.

 **Silent ShadowRaven -** I'm so happy you caught that sense of openness! I really wanted them to be able to experience it since Japan is surprisingly conservative. I feel like you completely understood it, in relation to the sunset as well. Because I feel like being in Greece is a taste of freedom for them, but they need to be able to bring it home for it to be of any importance. And you got it! Oh my goodness, I'm too excited. You're incredible to be able to write such reviews, honestly. I'm not saying it just to get more (or am I?). But I love writing back to you guys because I think that's the essence of writing. If you have no readers, did you actually write? Oh no, I'm ranting again and I'll probably draft out an essay from this. So, thank you so much and hope you enjoyed!

 **Hanaki-oujosama097 -** Your review makes my day too! Sorry this took a little more than a week, but it's to prep for the following chapters! You will be glad to know the next one is baked and ready to be served, hehe. So stay tuned and thank you for reading! (Also, you changed your name?)


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry. Takahiro-san is at work."

Nee-san gave me a small smile as she placed a cup of tea down for me.

I shook my head, embarrassed that I had come running here the instance we were off the plane. Nee-san must think I look like a mess.

"No, it's alright. I just came along to bring you souvenirs; I figured Mahiro might want them as soon as I got back. I've asked Nii-san to have dinner with us tomorrow anyway. He hasn't replied yet though."

"That's good. I'm sure it'll go well."

We sat down for a second, just smiling at each other, and it was oddly comforting. Nee-san had that aura about her and once again I was in awe that I had her for a sister-in-law. She was beyond understanding.

"Oh! I got some stuff for you too. It's all in here: some olive oil, some soap, some food, some lucky ornaments…"

It was only then I realised how much we had bought. It was in such a rush as well – on the last day of the holiday, just as the shops were closing. Maybe Usagi-san was rubbing off on me too much. How much did I even spend?

"You sound like you had a good time. And you're so tan too."

I flushed a little.

I shouldn't tell her I spent most of the holiday confined in a hotel room and crying, and that I was only out in the sun for a few hours and still ended up looking like this.

"Yeah, it's amazing. You should definitely go with Nii-san and Mahiro one day. It's got the most stunning view."

Nee-san nodded, "I'd like to go on a big family holiday with all of you – Usami-san too."

And once again, Nee-san made me feel undeserving of her kindness. I felt like there wasn't enough to give her. Sheepishly, I handed her the noticeably large bag.

"Thank you – my, my. What's that on your hand?"

Oh crap.

I forgot that was there. It just felt so comfortable after all that time in Greece.

"Oh. This. Um… Usagi-san got it for me. As a graduation present! It's nothing, er…"

Nee-san started laughing and I just had to cringe and look away. I'm such an idiot. One announcement at a time, damn it. Not that there's anything to announce. Nothing's official yet. The ball's in my court. Right?

"I'm sorry," she said, her laughter finally dying down, "I'm just happy for you – I truly am. It must feel better to have a more open relationship."

She gave another sympathetic smile.

"You know, when Takahiro-san asked me out, we told almost nobody. It was only when we got engaged that we started interacting with family and so on. I just remember letting out a huge sigh of relief, like some giant secret had been revealed even though we'd been dating for years. There's just something about shouting out to the rest of the world that you've found somebody you'll love for life."

I'm sure I was gawking at her, but I managed to say, "That's how I feel."

She placed her hand over mine. They were remarkably warm, and I felt it soothing my soul.

"Then everything will be fine. You have Usami-san, right?"

And for once, instead of bawling my eyes out, I nodded my head, feeling at ease.

* * *

We only had one day to rest before work, and we spent it sleeping. Just sleeping. And when I woke up refreshed from my long rest, I had to prepare for my first day at work.

I had gotten my suit prepared for this even before my graduation. And finally being able to make breakfast was actually a pleasure. The homely smell of miso seemed to wake Usagi-san up as well. He came sauntering down and I greeted him with a bright smile.

"I'm driving you to work," he grunted out as he sat down.

I wanted to argue but Marukawa was quite far…

"You can't drive me every day," I mumbled, as I set the chopsticks down for her and take my own seat.

"I work there," he answered smoothly, "Itadakimasu."

"You work in your office." I pointed up to the messy room upstairs.

I wasn't really allowed to clean it though. I always get worried that I'll misplace his manuscripts or intrude on his creative space – although that was mostly just his computer.

"I have meetings."

"Aikawa-san comes here."

"I still need to do things."

I couldn't help but smile to myself a little. It felt like everything was quickly settling even though we hadn't tackled the main problem yet. I waited until I was washing the dishes to bring it up.

"I'm definitely going to tell Nii-san at dinner tonight. He hasn't answered me yet but I'm going to show up at his house."

"Okay. I'll come with you."

The reply was so quick that I thought he wasn't really listening to me and replied by instinct. But when I looked up from the bubbles in the sink, he was staring right at me with those intense grey eyes. There was still no hesitation in them.

"A-alright. Thanks."

"And I'll pick you up."

"Thank you."

"And don't forget to put on your ring."

"Wait, what?"

"Your ring. I saw it in the bathroom," he stressed, "Don't forget to put it on when you leave."

"I'm not wearing it to work," I frowned at him, patting my noticeably-ringless hands dry. "People will ask too many questions and I don't want to draw attention to myself. You aren't wearing one either, Usagi-san."

"I'll buy one then."

"You said you'd wait –"

"It'll be a stand-in until you can afford it."

I rolled my eyes. "That defeats the purpose."

I finished the argument by getting the silver band from the bathroom, placed it into its velvet box and dragging Usagi-san out of the condo. My first day at work and I get to be with Usagi-san. How amazing was that?

* * *

It's not amazing at all.

Sure, I had a tiny desk shared with a lot of new people. Sure, I got to read a lot of manga. Sure, I was getting paid. But damn it, I have never been so sick of paper in my life. I had at least fifteen papercuts on each hand and I had been to the photocopier so many times that I may as well work there instead.

Usagi-san had dropped in on me several times, but I was either too busy or Aikawa-san got to him before me. Not that I wouldn't tell him to go back to work, but… a five-minute break wouldn't hurt.

No, no. I can't think like that. I had to give it my 110%! I'd already gotten this job through connections; I need to prove myself.

"Misaki."

"Usagi – I mean, Usami-sensei!" I yelped in surprise.

It was actually refreshing to see him – at least, it felt like a wave of comfort even though he looked unamused.

The looming figure moved quickly towards me and seized my arm.

"I'm done for the day," he said.

"Then go home first; I haven't finished yet."

I saw his face darken and as much as that intimidated me, I really didn't want to seem like a pushover in front of my new colleagues. I can't believe he was dragging me away from my workplace.

"Then take a break."

"What? No!"

But he had already pulled me away from the work stations and into the elevator. (When did that even open?) Thankfully, it was empty, but the moment we stepped in, Usagi-san pinned me against the back wall. His stare was so intense that I stared at Usagi-san's tie instead. It was a plain burgundy today. We were matching.

"Why are you ignoring me?" he asked, sultry.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Well, I'm at work. I need to focus."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You called me Usami-sensei."

I looked away.

"It's professional."

"You don't want people to know about us?"

"That's not fair. We're at work. People will think I only got the job because I'm with you."

"Did Isaka-san talk you into that again?" he glowered, as if he'd go and hunt out his boss. He probably would. And then I would definitely be fired alongside Usagi-san.

"No! I genuinely just want to be respected for what I can do. So… what I'm saying is –"

"Don't show up to your workplace?"

"That's not what I said," I pouted, even though I knew I was way too old to do that. "It… It made me happy when you showed up. I just don't want my colleagues to think I'm some dumb kid that rides on your coattails. I want to be someone who can walk next to you."

He pressed his lips over mine and almost immediately forced his tongue in. The shock and the fear of being in a public space made me all the more vulnerable to his attack, so I stood there as he slowly sucked on my lip. At some point, my arms had wrapped around him too.

He finally pulled away when the elevator dinged. Finally.

"Oh! Usagi! You're here too."

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"I'm looking for Misaki. I wanted to surprise him at work. Do you know where he is?"

Damn it, Nii-san. I've been trying to make plans for you for weeks and of all times, this is when you finally choose to see me?!

"Who's that?" Nii-san asked, trying to peer over Usagi-san's shoulder.

This was it.

All my careful planning destroyed. I wouldn't even get a chance to explain myself. Nii-san will definitely hate me. And of all the places to be, it was my workplace – on my first day of work. This must be some sick joke. Maybe I've done something wrong in my past life.

"Takahiro! You're here early. I thought we were meeting for dinner," Usagi-san smiled, casually throwing his arm around him.

Now I was completely exposed but shielded from Nii-san's line of vision. The worst part was I couldn't make myself move. I was frozen still.

"Misaki said he would have a two-hour break, so I thought I'd drop by beforehand. I want to be supportive. Anyway, who was that –"

"So you haven't eaten yet?"

But no matter how hard Usagi-san was trying, Nii-san had whirled his head around. Now I was disappointed there was nobody else in the elevator. It was just me. Of course he saw me. And his eyes slowly widened.

"Misaki!"

"N-Nii-san."

He was beaming at me. This was the strangest thing that had happened all day.

"Were you just leaving with Usagi?" he asked.

Wait. Hang on. What.

Did he know?

What was going on?

I looked up at Usagi-san but he seemed just as confused. His face was a complete blank as we both turned to Nii-san for answers.

"Usagi, you're still so touchy," Nii-san laughed, giving him a playful shove, "You should really stop clinging to people in public. They'll think it's harassment."

All I could think was: stop touching him. Even though I don't really have that right. I know that Usagi-san doesn't see my brother that way anymore and I know for a fact that Nii-san doesn't. There's no threat to me. So, what does that mean? I'm just… possessive?

Or maybe I'm frustrated that he misunderstood? Is this a wasted opportunity?

"Misaki?"

"Huh?"

"You zoned out," Nii-san frowned at me, immediately coming to my side, "Are you feeling alright? Maybe you're overworking already. You really should know your limits and learn to take breaks. It's not good for you if you…"

And instantly all the doubt faded.

He's worried about me.

"Nii-san, I'm not Mahiro. I'm old enough to know what I'm doing."

"I know, I know. It's just, you'll always be my little brother no matter what you are, and I'll always want to look out for you."

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Why am I blessed with such wonderful people in my life? And why do I unintentionally hurt them all the time?

"Since you're here, should we grab something to eat?" Usagi-san suggested, "Misaki can take his break now."

I glared at him.

It was a two-against-one situation, so I had to surrender. We made our way to a café close by so if I needed to, I could run back to work.

"How are you finding it?" Nii-san asked, a proud smile on his face. I couldn't exactly tell him I was bored out of my mind.

"Good. I'm feeling productive and I know it'll be rewarding when the manga is finally published."

He nodded, "And you, Usagi? How's the writing?"

"Same as always," he replied nonchalantly.

"Your writing is always improving. I swear you're doing something different."

Usagi-san shrugged.

I really should try reading them again, but his novels are so wrapped in layers and my brain doesn't have the capacity to pull it apart. It felt humiliating – not because of my lack of intelligence, oddly enough, but because it was a lack of connection. I was the closest person to him, yet I couldn't understand what he was writing. All I took from his previous work was a sense of loneliness, and it made me sad.

"Isn't it strange to be in the same house and the same workplace?" Nii-san asked.

This again.

"Don't you feel it's time to consider moving out? I know Usagi said you were a big help but if you're working now, then maybe…"

"Takahiro, he hasn't even settled in yet," Usagi-san immediately cut in, his brows furrowed.

"It's the best time to turn over a new leaf."

Their voices batted back and forth, in a conversation about me but I wasn't a part of. It made me feel like a child again. People making decisions for me; people talking for me; people trying to understand me.

"If you really think he's his own person then you should let him handle this himself."

"Misaki looks after me more than I do."

"He can't become dependent on you, Usagi."

The same conversation we had on the elevator. The one thing I didn't want to be.

"You shouldn't have to tell him what he should do," Usagi-san said, in an incredibly low voice. It sounded more like a growl and I knew it was time to intervene.

"Usagi-san," I said hesitantly, "It's okay."

But his focus was entirely on Nii-san, but in a way I had never seen before. It was similar to how he looked at Usagi-nii. And it wasn't pleasant. That was enough for me to jump between them.

"Come on. We need to find a nice place for lunch. I don't have much time either…"

"And what do you think he should do? Stay with you forever? He can't do that."

If those words cut me like a knife, it must be complete torture for Usagi-san. To be told that by Nii-san was like being rejected all over again. And for Usagi-san, who promised to be with me…

"Misaki," he whispered to me, "I think I should go back first."

I couldn't even read his expression; he had turned away too quickly. And now he was walking away from me, each step like thunder in my ear. For once in my life, I didn't want to be left with Nii-san. My feet reacted first to chase after Usagi-san, and by instinct I grabbed onto his hand. I didn't care that we were in public, or that Nii-san was standing in front of us. I just needed to get to Usagi-san.

"Usagi-san, don't."

He looked at me. That was enough for me to know we were ready.

We interlocked our fingers, palms sweaty and facing a very confused looking Nii-san. His eyebrows had knitted together again.

"Nii-san."

I took a deep breath. My voice was surprisingly steady. Maybe it was how sure I was, or maybe I had gotten better at faking confidence.

"Usagi-san and I are dating."

* * *

 **Here we go, guys, after five chapters of faffing around. It's a little shorter than I anticipated but just you wait for the next one!**

 **ukewithdarksoul -** Well, we're here at last. Misaki has finally told Takahiro. It may have been slightly rushed but it's a good read regardless. Let me know what you think!

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** I'm glad you enjoyed the fluffy Greece arc and now we're into the real stuff. I hope you enjoy it just as much!

 **NekoAyane -** Thank you for your kind review as always! I look forward to them :)

 **Hanaki-oujosama097 -** It means so much to me that it made your day because your review did the same. I feel like I'm repeating myself but getting validation is addictive, especially when you've had a bad day. Thank you so much for being excited and I hope this met your expectations.

 **Shiranai Atsune -** I'm afraid sadness will continue, but it's so sweet of you to love the relationship they have. Haha, I've been into the lounge once before and felt so out of place and I wanted Misaki to feel kind of the same. Thanks for the correction by the way, I've changed it now so thank you! And if it's really bothering you, it's only that the white and blue colour scheme is contingent with tourism in Santorini. White is obviously the bridal colour and I like to think that the blue represents calmness and nature which I wanted to incorporate into the fic since their trip to Greece is for Misaki to get a feel for freedom and expression. Hope this somewhat answered your question, haha.

 **Silent ShadowRaven -** You're right. Damn. Find someone who looks at you the way you look at food. Honestly, I think you have analysis of text done because I don't have to explain anything. It makes me so happy that you can track the characterisation I'm looking for. I hope you managed to get something out of this chapter too. And oh-my-gosh I never thought about that. THAT'S WHY HE'S USAGI?!

 **klipotitatum -** Wow! Thank you so much! It's amazing that I can reach so far. Hugs from Scotland!

 **EmoEmi36 -** You're so sweet! Also, how was camping? I feel like the people in this fandom are one big family, united by sweetness and I'm so glad I'm part of it. Thank you so much for saying that, it makes me feel so flattered.


	6. Chapter 6

Someone smart once said: Time is relative. And I'm not quite sure how that works, but I was pretty sure we were standing there for a solid ten minutes – which may seem short but really wasn't. (Maybe that's what it means.)

I couldn't even feel my heartbeat, or the wind rushing against my face – only Usagi-san's hand. It kept me grounded and reminded me I wasn't alone, otherwise I may have lost my mind already. But other than that, I truly felt nothing.

I wanted to break the silence, laugh it off, pretend it was all a farce. But that would be disrespectful – to both Usagi-san and Nii-san. And I don't think I could do it anyway.

Usagi-san didn't look like he was going to speak either.

We both watched Nii-san face silently, as its frozen smile stayed in place. His eyes betrayed him though. I could almost imagine what he was thinking: Are you kidding me?

"I…"

It came out as a gasp.

"I don't feel well. I'm going home first."

And then Nii-san turned around and walked around from me. Away from us.

* * *

I went back to work and Usagi-san didn't even need convincing to go home. I promised I would make dinner since our plans fell through, and that kept me going through the day.

Should I walk to the supermarket? Should we have meat tonight? Should I just order something?

Soon, my first day at work came to a boring end. I spent time thanking all my colleagues for putting up with me and then took the stairs down to the exit. The first thing I saw there was a bright red sportscar.

"You didn't think I'd let you walk back, right?"

Usagi-san sounded so damn casual, it made it all too easy for me to zone out on the way back.

I wondered what would be in the fridge. Maybe stuff from graduation? We must have noodles at least.

"Are you hungry yet, Usagi-san?"

"I'm not."

"Oh. Me neither."

Silence fell on us, but it wasn't time to address the issue yet. At least I didn't want to.

"I'll take a shower then," I declared, making my way upstairs, "Working in an office makes you strangely grimey. Think of what to eat later."

Usagi-san didn't answer but I could see he was pulling out a cigarette from the drawer. I didn't even have the heart to discourage him. Just for today. Just today.

I let the water run until steam filled the bathroom. I felt like the heat might help me to calm down, or release some pent up frustration. But no tears came.

I ran the water all over my head, scrubbed myself down, switched to cold water but still nothing. I felt removed from it all.

I knew it wasn't good but what was I supposed to do? Really, what choice is here? Tell me what to do. Try and salvage my relationship with Nii-san? Go downstairs and stress Usagi-san out?

If those were my options, I'd rather jump into a hole.

* * *

We ended up not having dinner. Usagi-san continued to work into the night and I went straight to bed.

I woke up earlier than planned so I made breakfast and went to work without bothering Usagi-san. I was quite relieved that he was sound asleep, or rather passed out in his office.

Everything was a welcome distraction: taking the rush hour train, cleaning my own desk, greeting my colleagues, learning how to use the computer, fighting to get lunch. There was no time to think or even look at my phone. It would be unprofessional, anyway. I was sure I wouldn't be getting many messages.

I was gathering papers to go the copier again when somebody called out my name.

"Aikawa-san?"

I heard the clicking of stilettoes before I even saw her. But it was definitely Aikawa-san, with a pleasant smile on her face.

"How is everything? Are you fitting in alright?" she asked, coming to survey my desk. At least it was clean enough.

"Yes. It's been going well. I think being a part-time employee really helped."

"I see. That's good. Let me know if you ever need any help."

"Thank you, I will."

"How is Sensei doing?"

I paused for a second.

In general? Or at work? I mean, Usagi-san never really has 'good' days per se, and Aikawa-san must be aware of that.

"Has he been doing writing?" she rephrased, after I let my mind wander.

"Uh, sort of?"

I mean, he was locked in his office but you can never be sure what he's doing. Plus, I couldn't keep tabs on him all the time.

Aikawa-san heaved a sigh. "He must be slacking off again. I'll drop in some time next week. Want me to bring you something?"

"No, no. It's alright. You always bring things over. Oh, that's right. Thank you very much for the graduation present," I bowed a little in gratefulness.

"It's alright. You already thanked me when you received it," she waved it off, "And you deserve it for being able to put up with Sensei and end up working here."

I laughed nervously and we made a promise to see each other soon. But now the thought of Usagi-san was clustering my mind. It was better than thinking about Nii-san but just the image of Usagi-san on his own, staring at a blank screen made me feel… lonely.

When you feel lonely, you just want to get away.

"Aikawa-san, do you think I could call it a day?"

She frowned at me.

What? I can't? Because it's my second day at work? I mean, fair enough, but she doesn't have to look so confused.

"I thought you'd be finishing now. That's why I came to check. Sensei is downstairs waiting."

And so I sprinted down the stairs, to see the obnoxious sportscar parked in front of Marukawa. Honestly. Who else would have the guts to park right in front of the company like that?

"How was work?" he asked as I clambered into the front seat.

"How long have you been here?" I exclaimed, "Aikawa-san had to sign me out."

"I've been here a while."

"Don't you have work to do?"

"I don't feel like doing it."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't. And if Usagi-san didn't feel like it, it wouldn't be done.

"And I missed you."

Something warm blossomed in my chest and I looked out of the window to avoid Usagi-san. I couldn't tell him I felt the same way. I could only hope he knew. After everything, being with each other is worth it.

There was a full minute of comfortable silence as we drove down the street. I didn't know what to say at this point. It felt like we were so intimate but at the same time, so far apart.

"We should go see him," Usagi-san said abruptly.

What.

Does he mean that? He must be joking.

There was a small panic in my head but I remained calm. I had to. (Or at least seem to.) There was no point losing my mind, so I kept my voice as steady as possible.

"Let's just go home."

But he was clearly not turning the car around. I was starting to lose my temper even though I was so collected before. Maybe it was the pent up frustration but I was just angry. Why couldn't he just listen to me? Why couldn't he take me seriously?

"Usagi-san, he doesn't want to see us."

"You don't know that."

"I do," I was near-yelling, "I know he doesn't want to see us. He's my brother."

Oh.

So that was what I was thinking.

I've betrayed my brother in some way. I've severed our ties in some way. I've failed him in some way.

By being in love.

But he walked away from me.

Nii-san walked away from me.

My only family walked away from me.

He doesn't want to see me.

He hates me.

He -

"He's my best friend."

The words were gritted out, which only seemed to make it that much harsher. But the pain made me realise I was throwing a tantrum. I was like a little kid. I'm the one being looked after again, and Usagi-san was forced to play the adult. He's always been like that, and never complained. And I…

"I'm sorry," I choked out, "I didn't mean to… to say it like that. I'm sorry that I was so insensitive."

God damn it, I wasn't going to cry. I promise.

This was all my fault anyway. I was the one who said I wanted to do this, at this time, this way. What right did I have to be regretful? If anything, Usagi-san was the victim.

I chose this. I chose Usagi-san over Nii-san. And that makes me a shitty brother.

I need to accept it. We already had this conversation before.

But damn it, it hurts so much. I really love my Nii-san.

"Misaki."

I hate it when he does that. I really hate it. Why can't he get angry at me for being so terrible at relationships?

I looked at him.

His face was completely relaxed now – still tired, but not stressed. And I hated that he looked like that, like he was smiling through the pain.

"Let's go home."

How could I?

I shook my head firmly.

"We should go. We're halfway there anyway."

It took a minute as Usagi-san pulled up on a quiet street and now there was nothing but us. He seemed to slump over the wheel, shielding his face from me. And when he finally looked at me, I realised how tired he looked. Those heavy bags under his eyes usually only appeared when he pulled all-nighters to write.

I bit my lip.

How selfish and immature do I have to be? Of course Usagi-san was losing sleep over this. Of course he was agitated. Of course he was heartbroken.

Other than me, Nii-san was probably the most important person to him. That's why he loved him so much. It was the same.

"I wasn't thinking right," he confessed, "If Takahiro won't see us now, then –"

"He will."

Now it was Usagi-san's turn to look slightly flabbergasted.

"He will see us. If not now, then in the future. Eventually, he will. You're his best friend and he cares a lot about you."

I tried to look as confident as possible. I wanted to be a source of comfort for Usagi-san. I tried to be. And that must have gotten through to him because he gave a small smile.

"You're right. He does care, about both of us."

And just from that little praise, I was blushing.

"B-but," I said hesitantly, "Let's give him some more time."

Usagi-san frowned. He knew it wasn't a good idea to drag this out. Heck, even I knew. I was certain it must be worse for Nii-san. It was unhealthy for all of us. We might all end up in the hospital from sleep deprivation or malnutrition.

"Once Nii-san has thought it out, he'll come find us."

"And until then we don't do anything?"

"It's not like you don't have work," I scowled, "Aikawa-san even reminded me to push you. You haven't written anything since we got back right?"

"We've only been back for two days."

"I've been working for two days!"

He gave a small smile again.

"S-so you better write something once we get home. I'll make something for dinner as well. Nothing… Nothing has changed. And it won't change."

"Yeah, I think I just got some inspiration."

* * *

Usagi-san did not have inspiration.

And all this time I had been working relentlessly to get dinner on the table. Urgh, the frustration. But it wasn't just frustration from cooking.

"Just say it out loud," Usagi-san said, as he sipped his coffee. (How did he drink all that and still go to sleep?)

"Say what?" I frowned as I tidied the last of the dishes away.

"What you're feeling. About this situation, right now. What do you want to do?"

Well, this was new.

Usagi-san never really talked problems out with me. We usually just tackle them head-on, whenever they have to be. But I suppose this was an entirely different situation.

"I… You have to say it too! It's weird on my own."

"Alright."

"I want to talk to Nii-san. He hasn't even heard the story."

Usagi-san gave an amused smirk. "We have a story?"

I flushed. "You know what I mean. He doesn't know how we… got to this point. I think he might misunderstand. And I want him to accept it and we can go back to normal."

I let out a deep breath.

I did feel a bit better actually. I mean, it was unlikely to happen but it felt good to say it.

"What about you, Usagi-san?"

"The same."

He sipped his coffee again.

"You can't just steal the words from my mouth," I scowled at him. He did that enough in his novels.

"But that's the best scenario: for us to talk to Takahiro and move on."

"Yeah…"

"I think you're over-complicating things."

"So were you…"

"Takahiro would never cast his family away, but I'm not family," he stated calmly. So calmly that I couldn't believe he just said that.

"You are family! You're the only person who has the right to be part of our family. You were there, all the time."

Usagi-san gave a weak smile. "It's not the same though. And even as a friend, I've done a pretty bad thing. Taking his precious little brother away. I would be angry."

I bit my lip.

All this time, this was what he was worrying about. I could feel my heart clenching in shame.

Since they met, Usagi-san has been thinking about Nii-san, treasuring him. Now to do the opposite because I was here must be tearing him apart. Having priorities shift so drastically must hurt.

I had to think carefully about what to say next.

"It's like what you said. You might not be family, but I choose you over anybody else. Even more than Nii-san. We both chose that. I'll never leave you. You believe me, right?"

He got up from his seat and came over to me, tilting his head in a way that I couldn't see his expression. But he enveloped me in his arms tightly.

"It doesn't matter if I believe you or not. You're not leaving my side."

"I know," I said softly, wrapping my arms around him.

"We might have to live a life without him."

I choked up. "I know."

"And I'm sorry for doing that to you and Takahiro."

"I know. I'm sorry to you too. I… I love -"

The phone was ringing.

"Tsk, I thought I unplugged that."

"Who's calling so late?" I frowned, removing myself from the embrace begrudgingly. But it must be important if it's they're calling at this time of night. I could only hope it wasn't from work.

"Hello?"

"Misaki-kun?"

"Nee-san," I gasped in surprised, "Good evening."

"Good evening. Are you busy?"

She sounded… off.

"Not at all. Is everything alright?"

She gave a little laugh – completely uncharacteristic of her. All the alarm bells were ringing now.

"Would you happen to have room for Mahiro and I to stay over?"

"Of course," I answered instantly, and the question 'why' almost fell off my tongue. But I figured it must have to do with Nii-san – it must have to do with me. Instead I asked, "Are you okay? Where are you? I can come and get you if you want."

"It's alright, Misaki-kun. I'm coming over now. I'll talk once we're there."

"Okay. Nee-san, are you really okay?"

There was silence on the other end and my palms were beginning to sweat.

"I'm fine. Mahiro's excited to see you. We'll be there soon."

"Alright. I'll get everything ready for you."

"Thank you, Misaki-kun."

And she hung up on me.

I turned around to go upstairs and air out the guest room but Usagi-san blocked me.

"What happened?" he asked, his expression the usual stoic.

"I… I don't know," I blubbered, "They'll be here soon. Oh, and they're staying over. I already said yes; I hope you don't mind. She didn't say much else."

"Misaki, calm down."

"I should get some pyjamas for them."

"Misaki."

"And tea. We should prep some."

"Misaki."

"Usagi-san, you need to help –"

"Misaki!" he yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders. Now I could see the fire in his eyes, the raw emotion. "It's alright."

"It's because of us," I muttered under my breath, "It's definitely because of us, and there's no way around it. And we dragged Nee-san into it too. This is even worse than –"

"Misaki, we're getting through this together," he spoke in a soft voice and his hand covered mine. That cool hand that evaporated the heat in my head. "We're family, right?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

But I could feel a tremble in Usagi-san's iron grip.

* * *

 **I struggled a lot with this chapter, but I'll rant about it on my profile (if you're interested). I'm worried now that I won't be able to keep regular updates but I'm still going to aim for it. The future is always uncertain.**

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** Thank you so much for saying you love it! At least that means I won't regret posting this. I wasn't quite sure how this would work but I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I hope I continue to impress :)

 **Shiranai Atsune -** Haha, I'm glad you're caught up in the action. Takahiro's reaction honestly gave me a headache... It still does. But hopefully you found it an enjoyable read and keep telling me what you think.

 **Silent ShadowRaven -** Ah, I always look forward to your analysis. It makes me so happy to see that people notice the details. Thank you for reading and reviewing as always, it really means a lot to me - there's no other way to put it. Sadly (or luckily) there will be less teasers now. We're getting down to business now.

 **NekoAyane -** Thank you for your patience! I will do my best to keep posting these chapters up for you.

 **EmoEmi36 -** Really? That's great! I've made Misaki a bit more removed from this chapter and I don't know if that comes through. Let me know. Really hope you enjoy the beginning of a long-winded drama.

 **ukewithdarksoul -** Uhhh, I mean is it a spoiler at this point? Tell me what you think of Takahiro's reaction because I'm very excited about it.

 **Monanell -** Aw, you're so sweet. I can't believe you reviewed twice. It makes my cold heart warm. And I'm so happy you enjoyed that cute Misaki/Manami moment because I was hesitant about being it in. Thank you so much!

 **x** \- Haha! You're amazing! I can feel your enthusiasm coming across the screen. Thank you so much for your support!

 **Hanaki-oujosama097 -** I honestly love how this chapter is bringing out the caps for everyone, haha. I'm so happy you enjoyed the last chapter and hopefully you feel the same for this one?


	7. Chapter 7

Nee-san was all smiles when she entered the condo with Mahiro, who attacked Suzuki-san aggressively the moment he step foot inside. Usagi-san didn't even bother greeting Nee-san and went to handle the situation. I would be concerned but there were more important things to worry about.

"Pardon the intrusion."

"Come in," I smiled hesitantly at Nee-san.

She looked alright, only slightly tossed by the wind. Beyond that she seemed absolutely fine and I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes, we were in the middle of dinner actually," she laughed nervously and let it die in her throat.

"What about Mahiro?"

Nee-san whirled around to ask, "Mahiro, are you hungry?"

But he was engaged with Suzuki-san, tugging on the poor bear's ears in amusement, and Usagi-san was watching gloomily. It's like watching two children, really. As funny as it was, I just dismissed them with a shake of my head.

"Nee-san, just leave them –"

But she was striding towards her son with such vigour that I remained frozen. Her expression was something I hadn't seen either. Something dark passed over her. It was… the same thing with Nii-san earlier.

"Mahiro, I just asked you a question. You have to listen!" she yelled.

She really yelled.

"But –"

"You should be listening to me," she was getting louder and I felt extremely uncomfortable.

I felt like I should step in. I was his uncle and it was wrong that he was being yelled at. But Nee-san was his mum in the end. She had the right to educate Mahiro.

"You have to listen to me. You can't –"

"Mahiro."

It was Usagi-san's calm voice that cut through the tension. And in my heart, I said a small prayer.

"Apologise to your mother."

I was entranced by how the teary-eyed boy stared at Usagi-san and then turned to Nee-san as if torn. With a quivering lip, Mahiro apologised. It was endearing but I was sure the tug in my chest wasn't from that. Nee-san looked genuinely shocked, so much that she turned away. I knew that look. She was going to cry.

"She forgives you," Usagi-san said to Mahiro, "Now go upstairs and play."

"Really? With all the trains and teddies?" he gasped, eyes wide with amazement, "Can I?"

Nee-san wasn't in a position to answer.

"I'll take you up," I offered with a gentle smile, "Usagi-san, you –"

"No, I will," Usagi-san cut in, "You stay here."

I knew what he was trying to do. He's trying to make me talk first, leave me to deal with family matters, care about me. Well, not this time.

"Mahiro, you'll be alright by yourself, right? You're a big boy."

He nodded confidently and clambered upstairs. I watched him until the door shut behind him. Now all of us where in a quiet mess. I did the first thing that felt right: I hugged Nee-san. She was so small in my arms; it was so difficult to notice when I always relied on her.

"I'm guessing it's Takahiro."

"Usagi-san," I snapped at his insensitivity.

"No, he's right," Nee-san sniffed, rubbing at her eyes, "We had a fight. It's natural for married couples."

She's lying. Everybody knows what they're like.

"But you were arguing about us," Usagi-san stated.

He stated it. As if he knew already. As if he guessed this would happen.

"Not… exactly."

"Nee-san," I said slowly, "You can tell us. We're here for you."

"Right…"

She heaved a sigh and looked directly at Usagi-san. "You're right. You've always been good at guessing what he's thinking. I hope you can shed some light on this situation."

"I can't read his mind," Usagi-san answered bluntly, "But I can have a listen."

Nee-san smiled and pulled away from me. "Thank you."

The tension in the air was still lingering but it felt alright to breath. The silence was making everything awkward and I could feel Nee-san shift. I wasn't sure if it was because of Mahiro playing upstairs or if Usagi-san's persistent stare was too intimidating.

"I'll… go make some tea," I mumbled, standing up.

"Misaki."

I sat back down.

Nee-san let out a weak laugh, "Honestly, you two. I can't think of a better couple than you."

"That's not true," I immediately refuted, but withheld the next set of words I was about to say.

Nee-san and Nii-san were the ideal couple, no doubt. A perfect Japanese household, an obedient son. And I had ruined it by being this way.

"No, really. The way you two communicate, I can tell you love each other very much. You're always in one another's thoughts."

I blushed.

Well, that was how I outed myself anyway.

"Whereas Takahiro-san and I… We're so caught up in ourselves."

I frowned, "That's not true. Nee-san, you are amazingly selfless, and Nii-san looks after you. You are…"

She gave a sad smile, as if she was getting ready to disappoint me. The worst thing was I knew that feeling and I didn't know what I could do to make her not feel that way.

"We were sitting, eating dinner," she began, "And Takahiro-san asked what I thought about the two of you. I said you were lovely. But Takahiro-san pressed on, asking what I thought of you together. And that's when I knew you had told him."

Damn. I should have messaged Nee-san after that. I'm so stupid. Why didn't I think of that?

"He was upset that I knew, but I told him I worked it out for myself. Then he got upset at the fact that everybody knew but him, then… Then we argued about same-sex couples."

I hitched a breath.

Of course that bothered Nii-san. I had never gotten around to asking his opinion on the matter but I had assumed.

"You'll be fine."

Both of us turned to the taciturn Usagi-san, who was in the process of getting another cigarette.

"Usami-san?"

"You'll be fine," he repeated in that same lulling tone, "There's nothing fundamentally wrong with your marriage. Neither of you were at fault. You were just upset. Time will heal itself. Just don't bring it up again until Takahiro has come to terms with it."

He's right.

How did he think of things so objectively?

"But I want to show my support for you and Misaki-kun," Nee-san stressed, "I don't want to go back and pretend that I was okay with what he said."

"It's not worth losing a husband and a family over, is it?"

Nee-san didn't answer, and I could only look at Usagi-san in awe. He truly was the master of words. He ought to be a therapist in his free time.

"You should still stay the night," I added with a light smile, just for the sake of saying something, "It'll be nice to take time away. And Mahiro should be getting ready for bed."

"Yes, you're right…"

She still looked a little frazzled. I hadn't seen Nee-san with such a blank look on her face before, and it made my heart clench. Because I was the source of it. No matter how Usagi-san put it, we were the root of the problem. If Nee-san continued like this then we would tear them apart.

I glanced over at Usagi-san who was now smoking peacefully.

"I'll check up on Mahiro. You two should stay and talk while I get him ready," I urged as I dashed up the stairs so they couldn't stop me.

It felt like the only thing that helpless little me could do.

* * *

Children really do suck up all your energy – that's probably how they grow so quickly. Mahiro was fast asleep in the guest room now and I was fighting to keep my eyelids open. I ought to check on those two downstairs but it had been peacefully quiet so far.

With a heavy conscience, I came downstairs to see that Usagi-san had also managed to put Nee-san to sleep on the sofa.

"Is she alright?" I whispered, as he made his way to me.

"She will be."

I smiled, "I'll grab her a blanket."

"I think I'll head out."

I frowned. At this time of night? Where would he be going?

Usagi-san was already heading to the door when I blocked him.

"You aren't going to see Nii-san without me, right?"

He gave me a look.

I took a deep breath.

"You aren't going without me."

"Misaki –"

"You can't," I said, trying to sound forceful. I wanted to be more sure of myself, more confident and demand it like Usagi-san does, but it's impossible. He was still standing there, completely unconvinced.

"Misaki, you need to stay here and look after those two."

"We're in this together," I said, already choking up, "You can't go off by yourself. And you haven't even told me what Nee-san said yet. I'm not a child."

"It's not about that."

"It's not about us?"

He remained quiet.

"Can we please just leave it for tonight?" I pleaded pathetically, "Please. Let's just go to bed. It's too late. And –"

"What if Takahiro hurts himself?"

I bit my lip.

"We can't know."

"Right now, Takahiro is the one by himself. He needs somebody by his side, and none of us are there," Usagi-san reasoned.

And like always, he made more sense than I did.

It couldn't always be that way though. I needed to help. I can't let Usagi-san shoulder everything. That's not what this is about.

"Let me go."

"Huh?"

"You should stay here, with Nee-san and Mahiro," I explained, not even thinking it through, "I'll go and check on Nii-san. You're right. I'm worried about him."

"Are you –?"

"I already let you handle Nee-san," I grinned light-heartedly, "I can't let you do everything."

"Misaki, you don't –"

"He's my brother. He raised me. I should at least visit him."

"Misaki."

"I'm serious," I declared, "Let me see him by myself."

"And what are you going to say?" he asked, narrowing his eyes, "I can't let you go alone."

Well, I wasn't going to let him do that either.

"I think we need to talk face-to-face. It might be too much of a shock to see us together. I'll test the waters first. I'll call you immediately if something's gone wrong, okay?" I added when I saw his uncertainty.

His eyebrows were furrowed in such an animated way that it was comical, but he had such sad eyes. There was so much concern for me, for Nii-san, for this entire situation.

"Then you should know what happened first."

I glanced over at Nee-san, the rise of her chest and her exhausted expression.

"Maybe not here," I mumbled as I took Usagi-san's hand and led him upstairs. We went into one of the studies and settled down next to each other.

"So?"

Usagi-san sighed, ready to take out another cigarette but I shot him a look. I was being too lenient nowadays. Thankfully, he took the hint and dropped his hands onto my lap.

"Takahiro didn't say nice things, Misaki. I don't know if you want to hear them."

"Of course I do."

Did I? What if he said something about me? Or Usagi-san? Could I forgive him then?

"He's extremely upset."

"Did he…?"

The words couldn't even leave my mouth. I could never accuse my Nii-san of that. That would be worse than sin; I would never recover from it.

"He didn't do anything," Usagi-san reiterated, "Only said some things that he… didn't mean. It got intense and they left. That's all."

"Okay…"

Of course, my kind, soft-spoken Nii-san would never do anything. Never. Not to his family.

"He's in denial. He doesn't believe you – either of us – are or should be in a relationship. And he's just bewildered. He didn't think of it as a possibility."

"But Nee-san…"

"He's just angry she didn't tell him. Married couples and secrets," Usagi-san scoffed.

I gave him a stern look.

"Well, that's the reason why they're fighting."

"So… it's because Nee-san never said anything." I paused. "That's alright then. I can just say that it was because I asked to keep quiet about it. None of this was Nee-san's fault. And then they can go back and –"

"And he'll still be angry," Usagi-san sighed, "And you really think your Nee-san will be alright with how you're handling this situation? After all she's done for you."

Right again.

"Takahiro needs time, but he also needs support."

I didn't know what to say. Usagi-san still knew him best after all.

"So I should go."

"No," I blurted out, "You can't."

"Misaki, you don't know what he might do."

"Neither do you," I refuted, "But I'm his brother. I should be able to handle this. I'll even stay removed from the situation. I'll… Honestly, I don't know. But I'll manage. I'll be with you in the end. I just want to make sure that Nee-san and Mahiro are happy in the end."

Usagi-san let out another sigh.

"There's no changing your mind."

"No."

"Then I'll drive you there."

"No, I think I need to prepare myself," I explained, "But I'll call you when I need you."

"I don't trust that."

I couldn't help but smile. He knew me too well.

* * *

I caught one of the last trains to Nii-san's, although I had money to take the taxi if it came to it. But the entire time, I couldn't even draft up a sentence of what I wanted to say.

'Sorry I'm dating a man?'

'Sorry I'm dating your best friend?'

'Sorry that I made you get angry at your wife?'

I mean, all were pretty bad. I'm not a conversationalist. Maybe Usagi-san should have come. Urgh.

So I stood there, not ringing the doorbell. I just waited. For some kind of sign, I suppose. I don't really know. It wasn't like I had experience with this kind of thing. The worst I've done is spoken to Usagi-san's family, and even that wasn't prepared beforehand. Maybe that's what works for me. I should storm in and let the words flow.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm sure when I see Nii-san, I'll have a grasp on what to say.

"Misaki?"

Crap.

I don't know what to say.

Just crap.

I turned slowly behind me, to see a ruffled-up Nii-san looking back at me. His tie was loosened and tossed behind his neck, shirt unbuttoned, glasses dangling dangerously from his ears and in his hand was a half-empty bottle of beer. I could smell the alcohol from here, and it made me a little ill. Even when I was with him, he rarely got himself into this state.

"Nii-san, are you okay?" I asked, cautiously making my way to him.

Then he starts laughing manically.

"Okay?" he scoffed, "Okay? Am I okay? Are _you_ okay?"

I gaped at him for a while before deciding he was too far gone. I just needed to get him away from the bottle and into the house, which turned out to be quite easy since the moment I approached him, he slumped against my arms.

"Misaki~"

"Nii-san," I grunted as I tried to keep my balance, "Can you please walk with me?"

He continued laughing and I couldn't help but groan under the weight. It didn't help that he was trying to coddle me. Plus Nii-san was so much taller, his limbs tangled with mine. Somehow I managed to get into the house without tripping up. As soon as I entered the living room, I tossed him onto the sofa, unable to carry his weight further. Maybe I really needed to work out more.

"Misaki, drink with me!" he blubbered.

"Nii-san, you need to stop," I sighed, wondering if he'd even be able to get up tomorrow. I'd need to call his work.

"No, you need to start."

There really isn't a point arguing with a drunk person. They never listen; they never understand; they never remember. It was a lost cause.

Instead, I focussed on taking the tie off Nii-san's neck in case he managed to hurt himself with it. Then it'd be a long watch.

"I think you need to sleep," I advised him, trying to undo the tenacious knot around his neck.

"I don't need sleep. I'm finally alone for once!"

He must have tugged one end extremely tightly because it was not budging. Maybe I should get his glasses off then. He might get drowsy if he can't see.

"The house is all mine. I don't have to control myself."

"Well, that's not exactly a good thing," I muttered, "Nee-san would be upset."

"Pffft. I'm upset too."

"You are."

"Uh-huh!"

He flung himself upright and I had to spring back in order not to be hit on the head. His brows had furrowed but his tomato red face made it hard to take him seriously.

"I am upset. I'm upset with Manami. I'm upset with Usagi. And I'm upset with you, Misaki."

Something inside me went cold but I stood my ground. I hadn't let my guard down just because he was drunk. (Or maybe I did, but it's up again.)

"I'm upset at all of you!"

He made some odd gurgling noise and I approached him again to check if he was throwing up. Luckily, he just seemed to be blubbering incoherently.

"You're attractive, Misaki," he mumbled.

"Thank you?"

"You could have anybody you wanted, I'm sure. But of all the people in the world, you choose the one person I would not be alright with."

"Why not?" I frowned.

It didn't matter how drunk he was, I still wanted answers. I still needed to defend myself, even if he wouldn't remember it when he woke up. "There're a lot of people who are a lot worse. Usagi-san is a great person."

"Have you met his family?"

I raised a brow. "I have."

"And you have no issue with the way they go about things?"

"Usagi-san isn't his family," I replied quietly. Just like how I wasn't mine. I wouldn't reject Usagi-san.

"Then you must have an issue with his heritage. All that money. All that fame," he blubbered on, "He collects teddy bears! And toy trains!"

"Everyone has a hobby. It doesn't hurt anyone."

"And how do you know you're not a hobby?"

I stared at Nii-san. My Nii-san actually just insinuated that I was a pastime for the love of my life. He actually let those words out of his mouth. Had I been the one blinded? Was Usagi-san right about me not being able to get through to him?

No. I can do this. If not for myself, then for Usagi-san and Nee-san and Mahiro.

"When I said I was dating Usagi-san," I said slowly, drawing out every word, "It wasn't as a casual thing. We have a strong relationship and I… I'm sure we l-l- care deeply for one another, as much as you and Nee-san. It took a long time for me to realise and come to terms with it but Usagi-san was patient and –"

"People say things they don't mean," Nii-san interrupted with a dark look, "I say a lot of things I don't mean. And the things I do mean, I can't say."

"What?"

"I want to apologise."

"Huh?"

"To our parents. For letting you end up this way."

"Nii-san, you should sleep," I suggested gently, as if treating a child. It seemed to be the only way I could deal with the situation. If I pretended to be somebody else, if I treated Nii-san like somebody else, if I were somewhere else.

"And Manami, for yelling."

"Nii-san, please."

He mumbled something more but he turned himself around to face the sofa. And even though I knew it would be more responsible to stay beside him and make sure he was alright, I stepped outside the door to take a steadying breath, that ended up shaking.

* * *

 **I have had a really tough week but I know it's no excuse for delaying this chapter anymore than it is. I know for a fact that this isn't what I wanted to write but it's what I can write right now. My mind is everywhere right now and I wonder if that's how Misaki feels. Thank you for being patient with me and hopefully you find this chapter somewhat enjoyable. A shout out to all you silent readers who are keeping up, and to my awesome reviewers mentioned below for being a source of motivation for me. It truly means a lot that people read what I churn out of my twisted head.**

 **ukewithdarksoul -** When I read your review I was scared. I thought that maybe the previous chapter was so awful that you didn't know what to make of it. I really hope it's not, because if so then this chapter will be so much worse...

 **Guest -** Thank you for the support :) I am trying really hard to keep going right now, but hopefully time will make me feel better and let me write the way I want.

 **NekoAyane -** You're so sweet. But I'm afraid it wouldn't be much of a fanfic if I let Takahiro accept them happily and move on with life. Hopefully you'll be happy reading this version.

 **Shiranai Atsune -** Maybe this plot is getting too predictable for you, haha... I'll have to juice things up, hopefully get some inspiration in time for the next chapter.

 **SilentShadowRaven -** I'm really glad you enjoyed the previous chapter, especially that Usagi scene. I've always wondered what their relationship means to him now that he loves Misaki, and that ended up being my conclusion. This chapter circles very much around the concept of taking responsibility and 'adult' relationships, I suppose. Thank you for your enthusiasm as always.

 **Hanaki-oujosama097 -** I hope you didn't mind the wait. I really do hate letting people down. Really. And thank you for reviewing twice, that was really sweet of you. Hopefully some of your questions were answered in this chapter, although it's slightly waffle-y.

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** It means so much that you favourited this fic, especially that you're invested in it. It makes me feel special (also, the fact that you called me Queen makes me surprisingly happy. I think it reminds me of Beyonce or something) so thank you very much for reviewing.


	8. Chapter 8

Once Nii-san was asleep, I messaged Usagi-san explaining I would be staying over to look after him. I had missed out the details but emphasised that everything was fine and that he should stay put.

The moment that I hit send, I let myself slump against the wall and sigh.

I hate this.

Looking after Nii-san didn't bother me, it was kind of like taking care of Mahiro. They look alike anyway, except the look on Nii-san's face mirrored Nee-san's. I wonder if it's true what they say about couples living together becoming more alike, or maybe depression just looks the same on everyone. I wouldn't know.

My phone began buzzing from a call, and I didn't even need to check to know it was from Usagi-san. But for once, I didn't want his comfort. I just wanted quiet. I just needed to think.

So I let it buzz away.

* * *

I had at least twenty missed calls when I next checked my phone, and out of guilt I called back.

"Good morning," I started quietly, moving away from the living room.

Nii-san was still crashed out on the sofa, but at least he looked better and wasn't throwing up. I could probably leave him alone for now.

"Misaki, how is everything?"

Usagi-san's thick voice could cut through anything, but right now it sounded so static. He must not have gotten much sleep either. I wondered whose fault that was.

"Fine. I think Nii-san will have quite a bad hangover but otherwise, it's fine."

"Good."

"How's Nee-san and Mahiro?"

"Fine, as well."

"Are they up yet?"

"The kid is. He's watching TV."

I sighed, "Don't let him watch it for too long. And make sure he's a safe distance. And have you made breakfast yet? That's a stupid question. Make sure to get some food, at least for Mahiro's sake."

There was silence on the other side.

"Usagi-san?"

"Have I told you I'm extremely jealous?"

I frowned. What did that have to do with anything? We literally have a crisis on our hands and he thought this was the best way to go about it?

"Even though this is happening because of us, all your attention goes to Takahiro and his family instead of me."

I couldn't help but let out a tiny smile. But I had to at least sound angry.

"They really need support right now."

"I do too."

"You can handle yourself," I said softly, even though I wanted to touch him right now. I just wanted to give him a giant hug and let myself melt into his embrace. Honestly, I've only been away from him for a few hours max.

"I don't think I can."

"I'll be back tonight," I replied with conviction, "No matter what happens with Nii-san. I'll sort it out."

"Do you know what you're going to say?"

"Not really."

Silence again. And this time, I could tell it was the condescending kind.

"I'll figure it out. I always do. It's not hard to talk to Nii-san. We're brothers."

"I know."

Now it was my turn to stay quiet. There seemed to be no way of convincing anyone, not even myself, that I could do this.

"I believe in you. Try not to let the words get to you. Takahiro doesn't know what he's saying."

It was still crackly over the phone, but it held a steadiness which I could cling onto.

"Okay," I breathed, "Okay."

"Call me whenever you need me."

"I will. And you make sure that Nee-san isn't stressed out and that they're well-fed."

"I'll go and buy something then."

I chuckled to myself.

"I'll make something good tonight. See you then."

"See you."

* * *

Nii-san woke up around eleven, by which time I had made breakfast, cleaned up and called his work for him. I was anxiously prowling around the kitchen, awaiting Nii-san's entrance. I could hear the heavy footsteps clunking my way, the gentle groaning of a hungover person, the door creaking open.

"Manami, I wanted to –"

He paused when he saw me.

"Misaki."

"G-Good morning," I smiled hesitantly and signalled to the table, "I made breakfast."

"Oh. Right. Of course. Thank you."

He stumbled his way to the table with noodle legs and I felt somewhat guilty for not helping him, but every time I looked at him, the words from last night would bite back. And I would feel so hurt.

"It's been a while since I've eaten your cooking," he said with a nostalgic smile, "I just wish I wasn't hungover - I don't remember anything beyond going to the bar. When did you get here?"

"I'll get you some water," I mentioned offhandedly, "I came around midnight, just as you were coming back."

"I see. And Manami and Mahiro?"

I focussed on not spilling the water as I poured it slowly.

"I'm guessing they don't want to see me," he said softly, "And they'd be right not to."

I served the rice.

"And I don't know why you'd want to see me either, Misaki."

"Let's eat first," I suggested brightly, "You have the day off, and it's been a long time since we've have time to ourselves."

He looked slightly taken aback, but offered me a simple, "Yes. You're right."

We salvaged pleasant small-talk about work and the weather, holding back our own storm that would inevitably break up our pleasant bubble. But for now, however selfish it was, I wanted to pretend the rest of the world didn't exist.

But my phone had to ring, and the jolly ringtone shattered the delicately crafted neutrality.

"I, uh, have to take this," I mumbled as I fished it from my back pocket and rushed out of the kitchen. I didn't even need to check who it was.

"Misaki, I'm outside."

"What the hell."

I immediately rushed to the door, and indeed, there stood the great Usagi-sama, who doesn't listen to me and does whatever the hell he wants. I ended the call abruptly and swung the door open.

"Seriously, what the –?!" I began to yell until I noticed that behind Usagi-san's large frame was the tiny figure of Mahiro.

"He wanted to come."

I just gaped at him, but Mahiro was already sprinting home.

"Wait, Mahiro! Your shoes –" I barely caught him when Nii-san emerged out of the kitchen to greet the sight of his son, his brother and his best friend all at once. There was nothing I could do about it.

"Takahiro," Usagi-san greeted him almost coldly.

"Usagi."

"Papa!" Mahiro squealed excitably, wanting his full attention. The little boy, unable to consider the possibility that he wasn't the most important person in the room, began to pout and his eyes began to water.

"Mahiro, have you eaten yet?" I asked, squatting down, "I'll make you something nice. Or you can have a chocolate snack. How does that sound?"

And he immediately perked up.

I felt bad having to leave the two of them in the hallway but simultaneously, I couldn't leave a little boy between them. I was certain they were mature enough to handle it but right now… I wasn't. I couldn't fathom having to sit down with the two of them and have a conversation. I couldn't. So as always, I took Mahiro away.

* * *

I could hear nothing except Mahiro's chewing and for the longest time, I hesitated on whether to check on them. I could drop in and ask if they wanted tea, but that would seem stupid. But I had a right – no, I had the need to be with them.

"Mahiro, stay here. I'll be back in a bit."

He was too busy stabbing his omelette to really worry about the disappearance of his uncle though. I could only hope it stayed that way. I didn't want Mahiro to barge in this conversation. But really, I didn't want to barge in either.

I stared at the door, waiting pathetically.

"… won't see you."

It was Usagi-san's voice.

"Can you let her know I'm sorry?"

"I can."

"Thank you."

"Anything else?"

Silence.

Why were they being so… adult about it? As in, why were they avoiding the elephant in the room even when they were suffocating from it? I wanted to intrude and just yell at them. I wanted a quick fix, no matter how stupid that may be. But I don't think I can live in this limbo.

"Has… Have you spoken about it with her?" Nii-san asked, the uncertainty of it catching me off guard, "And you still want to speak to me?"

"Well, technically Misaki does. Right?"

And the door opened, revealing an equally stunned Nii-san.

Seriously?

"H-hi," I laughed as awkwardly I could, "I just, um –"

"Sit down," Usagi-san said.

I sat down next to Usagi-san, our legs barely touching. I wanted to reach out for him, but I felt it would be improper – however odd that sounded. But I wanted to focus on Nii-san. I wanted to hear him out, no matter what it was.

Would this be the last time I could do this?

"So," Nii-san began, his eyes wandering all over the room.

"Misaki and I have been dating for the past four years."

"Usagi-san!" I exclaimed.

"And he has been afraid to tell you all this time because of this reaction."

"Four years," Nii-san muttered to himself, still not looking at us. "Since Misaki left high school…"

"We started dating when we moved in together," Usagi-san clarified and that's when I realised how awful it sounded.

I had begun dating Usagi-san just as I moved in with him. He was more tutor and my brother's best friend. And since then, things have… developed.

"You've been seeing my brother for four years," Nii-san repeated, "And you never told me."

"It's not Usagi-san's fault," I cut in immediately, "I asked him not to tell you. Not until I was ready. And I wasn't ready for the longest time. I'm sorry. It's my fault. But I knew you'd be against the idea of us being together and you really wanted me to move out and find a girlfriend. I just really want to be with Usagi-san. I'm very serious about this."

"As am I," Usagi-san said as his hand moved to hold mine tightly.

Suddenly, it became easier to breathe. It didn't really matter how Nii-san reacted. We were in this together.

Nii-san still wouldn't look me in the eye though, as if it would be a crime to do so. Was he that ashamed of me? I felt like someone had just ripped me apart and displayed my mangled body in public.

"Usagi, I knew you weren't interested in women, and you know I've always been okay with that."

"I know."

Usagi-san was so collected, it scared me. He knew? He just did? Up until now, I wasn't sure what Nii-san's position on sexuality was. And now… He knew? So what was all this?

"But my little brother. You went for my brother who I've raised. The one I always confide in you about. The little brother I trusted you with."

I gulped. Oh.

"I didn't plan for it to happen," Usagi-san answered quietly, "I tutored him like you asked."

"So since you've been tutoring him!" Nii-san exclaimed, his eyes now darting to Usagi-san. It was a glaring contest now.

"Usagi-san never did anything," I said, "I was the one who decided I liked him. I ended up caring for Usagi-san and –"

"Misaki, what do you know about relationships?" Nii-san scolded me, "How do you know?"

"I don't need to have dated a lot of people to know what it's like to love somebody," I added a little bitterly. And specifically, I don't need to date girls.

"That's not the same thing," he answered starkly.

"Why is this so different from you and Nee-san? You guys got married so quickly –"

"And what? You think you would marry Usagi?"

"I do."

And the words slipped out of me before I could say otherwise. What the hell was I saying? We weren't – couldn't – get married. What is even happening right now? This isn't the conversation we were supposed to be having.

"Misaki, you are two men –"

"I know. Why is this so hard for you to understand?" I exasperated, "We don't all have to follow the standard set of rules. I don't have to marry a beautiful wife and have children. I'm perfectly happy the way I am."

"Misaki, this is your whole life –"

"And it's mine. It's my life."

"Misaki."

"And I know you took care of me when I was younger, and I am so grateful, but it doesn't mean you can choose who I love."

"It can't be Usagi!" Nii-san finally yelled.

He raised his voice at me, like he never had before. In my entire life, I had never heard him this agitated and something about the illusion of my brother snapped. He was so imperfect even though I had him on this brilliant pedestal.

"Why?" I breathed.

I even looked at Usagi-san but he seemed to be in utter shock as well. His face was frozen as was his grip on me.

"I… can't have this conversation right now," Nii-san sighed, "I'm sorry I yelled. I need time."

"No. You can't," I replied, "You can't have more time or space. We need to have this conversation. Because Nee-san and Mahiro are involved as well. We can't drag this out."

"Then tell Manami to answer my calls," he said, "Please."

"I can't tell Nee-san what to do."

He looked at me, like a dead man walking, like the final hope had been snatched from him. And I couldn't help but think he was a little pathetic. It wasn't the Nii-san I knew.

"You're right," he muttered.

"I think she can speak for herself," Usagi-san interrupted and pointed to the window. Our heads flicked to the general direction, but the noise of the door opening got to us first. "She's outside."

It was followed by an enthusiastic "Mama!"

"Manami…"

"Let's sort this whole thing out," Usagi-san said, like one of those inspiring leaders who sparked revolutions in the world. That was the look in his eyes and he was staring right at me. Those misty greys for once looked so brilliant that I couldn't stop.

"Let's sit down together and talk this out."

* * *

 **Will Takahiro accept the two or create a divide between the family? And how will Misaki react to his decision? No more beating around the bush - only two more chapters to go!**

 **Thank you for being patient with my updates and I** **hope you stick with me (but honestly, if you're here then you're awesome. You've dealt with my deadlines, exams and emotional trauma. Although if you would give me the chance to make excuses, it's all on my profile. You have my apologies in advance). I would love to hear what you have to say, or if you have any expectations of what is to come because I am truly in a bind.**

 **Bitter Sweet Lovin -** Thank you so much for your kind words. I really hope that you are still enjoying this fanfic because I feel like I'm losing my touch. I can only pray that the next two chapters meet my expectations. I feel bad making you wait this long but I think I've made my peace with this chapter. Your support has been such a huge factor in me being able to bat this one out, so you're the real queen ;) (Oh wait, no Beyonce first. But you're a close second.)

 **ukewithdarksoul -** Ahh! I hope not. I actually feel bad for Usagi who goes out of his way to prove his love and Misaki is always so unsure. Doesn't that frustrate you? But I think we've finally gotten to the point where he doesn't need constant reassurance. Phew.

 **NekoAyane -** Thank you! Things will definitely be reaching its climax now. If Takahiro won't accept it then Misaki will have to leave his life - I think that's an established point. Or will there be a plot-twist? I never liked being predictable lol.

 **Difying Gravity -** You're such a sweetheart! Thank you so much for liking the chapter. That was definitely one of my lowest moments, so it means a lot that you like the way it was presented. I also hope that I get to hear from you soon!

 **Silent ShadowRaven -** You have no idea how much comfort I found in your words. It actually let me wind down for a few days just to feel bad for myself (yes, it was pathetic but it helped). I think I'll definitely work on the whole 'parent' situation in the next chapter, but Misaki right now is just trying to avoid conflict and I want to bring him into the center of it. And obviously, Manami and Takahiro need resolution, because I think ideological views will play a big part in this even though it doesn't involve them. Thank you so much for reading and being so supportive. I really needed it :)

 **Shiranai Atsune -** I love that your initial reaction is to Mahiro - you have a kind heart. I like to believe that he's too young to understand what's happening, but maybe it's true what they say about children being sensitive to this kind of thing. I may make a point about it later, but we shall see! Thank you for reviewing as always!

 **Hanaki-oujosama097 -** I really hope I've made Takahiro more sympathetic. He's just a simple guy who wants the best for his little brother, and it may come across as harsh but he really does have the best intentions. But you're right: true love should prevail. Thank you so much for being patient! We're finally reaching the finale so I hope you continue to enjoy this fanfic to the end.

 **Guest -** Lol, your review was definitely one of the things that made me smile through the rough patches. Maybe I'll plan a smexy extra scene for you ;)


	9. Chapter 9

Family reunions are awkward moments. There are people you probably haven't met since the day you were born or some distant relative you see on special occasions but somehow forgotten the name of. I had just never been in a situation where I've had to awkwardly sit with Nii-san, Nee-san and Usagi-san. Although I shouldn't really be surprised by unexpected circumstances now, should I? Enough has happened.

"Tea?" I offered weakly, to which Usagi-san loomed over me.

"Misaki."

"I should be the one getting it," Nee-san fussed, moving away from the door, "This is my house. What am I doing?"

She was already standing up and reaching for the door. Luckily, before I could even think about reacting, Nii-san had grabbed her wrist.

"Manami."

He had an intense look on his face that I couldn't decipher and it looked like Nee-san was trying to figure it out too. They were a picture frame for a moment, staring into one another's eyes, hoping to be understood. Finally, Nee-san decided to seat herself back down.

I looked over at Usagi-san, who remained nonchalant as always. But I could tell by the crinkle of his eye that he was scared. Both of us were terrified – in fact, all of us were. Yet at the same time, like misaligned stars, we depended on each other to set the scene. All of us needed to put in the effort, otherwise we would pass each other silently, never meeting again. I needed to.

"Nii-san," I addressed him as formally as I could, as if it would make me feel more mature, "I don't know why you're so against Usagi-san and I being together, but I… I really care for him. I love him. And we're going to be together no matter what."

"Misaki –"

I hated that.

It sounded like I was being scolded for being an idiot again. But I had thought this through.

"Takahiro, I'm sorry."

All of us turned to Usagi-san, sitting with his head half-bowed.

His sincere apology caught all of us off-guard and I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. Why was he the one apologising? What for? He hasn't done anything wrong.

"I fell in love with your brother, after I had fallen for you."

"What the –"

"And since then," he continued, "In these past four years, I've only continued to love him more. I don't think I could live without him. It's why I've changed; I've become somebody who lives for Misaki. Only him."

How were you supposed to keep your feelings in check when you hear such raw yet thought-out emotion from the person you loved most? It's impossible.

"And I know you love Misaki too, so please don't make this hard for him. No matter what you think of me, at least consider that."

"You'll have to backtrack," Nii-san stammered, shaking his head back and forth in disbelief, "You what?"

"Takahiro-san," Nee-san spoke in a fierce voice and equally fierce eyes, "Take my word when I say you are not very observant about the feelings of people around you. Usami-san has always been here for you since your parents' accident until now. He's been more than a best friend to you. Have you ever thought about why he might do that? And he's been taking such good care of Misaki all this time."

"But he –"

"Don't you trust him?" she pressed on, not letting him interrupt her, "This man who set aside his own feelings for the people he loves? Is that not somebody Misaki should be with?"

After that speech, I had to bite my lip to stay composed. Why do people care so much for me? It was so overwhelming and I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I could do the same for them.

"Manami, Usagi, Misaki, you know I care deeply for all of you," he started with a trembling voice, "You know that I love you. You know I could never hate you."

"Then –"

"Manami, can you hear me out?" Nii-san asked meekly, "For now, just let me speak. All of you."

He turned to all of us, each in turn. When he met my eyes, my view of him was blurry through tears but it felt so real. It felt like he was trying to tell me something profound. I would never turn that down – and it was the same for Nee-san and Usagi-san.

Something in the air seemed to change and I saw Nii-san visibly relax. He propped his elbows up onto the table, clasping his hands like a businessman and took a deep breath. He stared at Usagi-san.

"Usagi, I've known you for years. I know you would never do anything to hurt me or my family. Of course I believe that you love Misaki, and that Misaki loves you. It's not difficult to fathom. But," he paused as if letting us relish the positives, "You know what world we live in. We are adults. You know how relationships like yours are treated."

There was love in his eyes and he was truly expressing sympathy, yet I couldn't help but feel victimized by his words, as if he was denying me something. I felt little again even though he was treating me like an adult.

"I never want my brother or my best friend to go through that if they don't need to be. Other people can deal with it, if need be. But you two are important to me. I can't imagine what I'd do if other people –"

"This doesn't involve other people," I countered quickly, not letting my thoughts become a tangled web, "We're asking about you, Nii-san."

"Misaki, it does," Usagi-san interrupted me, "It has to do with everybody."

What? Why is he not supporting me?

We don't need to announce our relationship to the public. Our lives are our own. They can be private if we want them to be.

"Misaki, you will have to deal with this one day," Nii-san sighed, "And I'm worried about it. Even if it's Usagi – no, especially because it's Usagi. I know what you two are like."

"Then you should know we'd make it through," I argued, "Usagi-san and I aren't as weak as you think."

"You're both emotionally vulnerable. Isn't that why you got together in the first place?"

Wow.

Nii-san was not holding back his punches today. It was one after another. And I didn't know what to feel first. I felt hurt, for sure, but more on Usagi-san's side. How could he say all this? Maybe the surprise covered up all else and I was staring at him, dumb struck.

"So you're worried about our future?" Usagi-san pressed on, as if he wasn't bothered at all by his comments.

How was I supposed to stand this?

"It's been four years, Takahiro."

"Who knows what might happen tomorrow?"

"Misaki and I won't change our minds."

"What if one day he decides he wants to start his own family and settle down?" Nii-san asked, his voice raising again, "What would you do, Usagi? That would hurt you as much as it would him. And then we would all be here again."

"I wouldn't let it happen."

It came like a sigh of relief. At least Usagi-san could speak for me. There was not a single part of me that wanted to leave his side. How could I possibly jump from here to there? Love isn't so simple, I know, but surely it isn't that malleable.

"That's not good enough," Nii-san said.

"Takahiro-san," Nee-san said in a warning tone, but he was still glaring at Usagi-san.

I wasn't sure where to look anymore.

"If that did happen," Usagi-san answered quietly, "Then I would let him."

"Usagi-san."

My voice was so weak.

"If that was what you really wanted," he turned to address me now, "Then you know I'd support you. But if there was even the slightest doubt in your heart, you won't be going anywhere."

"There's no doubt in my heart that I love you."

My declaration caught everybody off-guard, even me.

But how could everybody keep dismissing me? My feelings are important, and they are stronger than what anybody else thinks. It is a sad fact but they don't understand, and probably will never understand, the multitude to which I feel love for Usagi-san.

The world isn't fair. So I have to fight for my own justice.

"I can still have a family, Nii-san. It wouldn't be as conventional as yours but I could have my own family with Usagi-san. I never plan to be with anybody else. I am willing to take that risk."

"It's not just a risk," Nii-san frowned, his eyes wide with concern, "This is a lifestyle we're talking about. Everything changes when you're open about a relationship – no matter what that relationship is."

"We can handle it."

"Usagi," Nii-san turned away from me, "You were broken by it once, what makes you think you can handle it with Misaki?"

I also had to concentrate on Usagi-san's face.

"Because it's Misaki. He's the one."

"Usagi, that's –"

"I know there's no such thing as a soulmate but Misaki is the love of my life because we worked hard to get here. If he isn't going to give up on me then I certainly won't. It works the same for you, Takahiro. I'd go to lengths to earn your friendship again if you let me."

Always trust Usagi-san to have the last word.

Nii-san was visibly stunned, and I could not help but admire it like one would appreciate art. I couldn't understand it, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

I placed my hand gently on Usagi-san's knee and gave it a squeeze. He did not turn to look at me but covered my own hand reassuringly. It was all I needed.

Nii-san still didn't say anything.

"Say yes, Takahiro-san," Nee-san whispered to him gently, "Don't think so much with your head and listen to your heart for once."

"Manami…"

His eyes were dewy.

"I'm sorry."

Nee-san smiled at him with such compassion and understanding that I couldn't help but inch closer to Usagi-san. I felt like I was intruding in such an intimate moment.

"I know," she said softly, "Now tell these two that you support them no matter what. That's what you want, right?"

Then Nii-san's face flared. It was like a warning to take cover for me – I had seen that face often before. I squeezed Usagi-san's knee again.

"Not quite."

Nee-san looked just as lost as I was, but Usagi-san still hadn't broken eye contact with Nii-san. (How was he not straining his eyes?) He seemed to be on the same wavelength, because Usagi-san clasped my hand tightly and said, "I am asking permission to date Misaki, to live together as a couple."

"Then do it properly," Nii-san stated curtly.

I couldn't help but cut into what seemed like a business transaction now.

"Nii-san, you don't need to –"

"Alright."

I turned slowly to Usagi-san, stunned that he easily agreed to this ridiculous idea. Did they even care about what I needed? I'm not some damsel in distress; I can make my own damn decisions.

"Usagi-san."

My throat was constricting in itself, but I tried my best to sound convincing.

"If this gets Takahiro to believe in us and approve of us, I will do it - unless you don't trust me."

"Don't say that," I scowled, "You know I do. But you don't need to –"

"As long as you believe me, does it matter?"

I hate when he runs circles around me, which is all the time. And each time I find myself falling for it. There was nothing I could do, just like always.

I turned to look at Nee-san, who had the most sympathetic expression as she always did. Then I looked at Nii-san, who looked stern but still rough from the night before.

These people around me have so much power over my life, and I love them so much, but how could I not be agitated with them when they treat me like a child? What was I supposed to do?

"Fine. Do whatever you want. You guys seem to know exactly what to do anyway," I huffed, "I need to go to work."

"Misaki, I'll take you –"

"I can do things by myself," I snapped, and for once didn't feel bad about it.

* * *

As it turns out, walking into work wearing the same thing from yesterday makes people stay away from you so I didn't even need to try. All I wanted was to shower and wipe the grime from my face and forget that anything ever happened. Or sleep. I just need sleep.

I didn't really know what to think. My mind was all hazy. But I knew what I was feeling was frustration. Sure, I might just be being melodramatic about this but what the hell? Nii-san needs to 'hand me off' or something? And to Usagi-san of all people, who also thinks this is a good idea. Does nobody seem to care what I think?

"-saki-kun! Misaki-kun!"

"Whoa!"

I nearly jumped out of my chair from the abrupt yelling of my name. Right by my ear, Aikawa-san was standing with her hands on her hips, the scarlet shade of her lipstick much too bright for my watery eyes.

"I've been calling you for ages. Are you okay?" she asked, now concerned.

"Yeah, sorry. Rough night."

"Was it Sensei?"

"Huh?"

She gave an exasperated sigh. "What has been going on recently? You've been out of it these few days and Sensei has been slower on work than usual."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –"

"No, no," she shook her head quickly, "That's not what I meant. I wonder if you two are okay is all. You know I'm here if you need to talk."

"Really, Aikawa-san, it's okay. I just didn't get much sleep."

She gave him a suspicious look. Then she turned around and declared that she was going to take my lunch break.

"Aikawa-san, I really –"

"Come on, I know I really nice place."

It was more than nice. The café was draped in silk curtains, secluding each table, allowing for complete privacy as we were served fancy flora tea by butlers. I couldn't stop ogling.

"Misaki-kun," Aikawa-san started slowly once she lowered her delicate teacup, "I don't want you to see me as your colleague or Sensei's editor right now. That whole thing about personal and professional lives really doesn't matter. I want you to be able to tell me anything and know that I would never hold it against you."

"I would never think –"

"I've known you both for so long," she continued, not allowing me to explain, "You both deserve to be happy and I want to be able to support you."

I bit my lip.

Another kind-hearted person who wants to help. It's always the same. When am I supposed to learn?

"Misaki-kun, what's going on? You have that pained look on your face."

I do?

"It's Sensei's fault isn't it?" she sighed, "Of course it is."

"No, no. It's not," I said through a raspy voice, "It's not."

Kind of.

"Then what is it?"

"I just… I told Nii-san, about us."

"Oh. Oh my god."

"Yeah…"

"Oh my god. And what happened?"

"It's… fine. Everything's fine. This morning Nii-san said he was willing to accept us."

"That's great!" Aikawa-san beamed at me, "What great news. So why the long face?"

I resisted the urge to let out a long groan and flop down onto the cushioned seats. Nobody could see me anyway. There was also the small tug of shame for letting Aikawa-san down. I didn't want her to think that I had failed her trust in me. Out of respect, I just shut my eyes for a second and let out a breath before continuing.

"Nii-san thinks Usagi-san needs to prove himself, or something. I'm not sure why. He's known him for so long. He knows exactly what Usagi-san is like. Why would he think Usagi-san isn't appropriate?"

Surprisingly, Aikawa-san had a serious look on her face. I had expected her to be completely supportive.

"Misaki-kun, of course you don't know why; you're not aware of how you've changed Sensei."

"Huh?"

"It's not really my place to say this," she gave a sheepish smile, "But Sensei was quite a different person before he met you. It's a cliché, I know, but it's true. And maybe your Nii-san was too busy to realise what was really happening. When you're in a relationship, it changes you."

"But Usagi-san is Usagi-san," I blurted out stupidly, "He's not all that changed."

"I'm sure your Nii-san thinks differently. Or maybe he's just worried about his little brother and his best friend. It could all go badly from his perspective."

I let out another breath. "I just don't know what he wants us – or rather, Usagi-san – to do to prove that we're fine."

Aikawa-san gave a sympathetic smile. "I understand. Sensei displays his affection quite different from regular people."

I nodded in agreement and stared into my teacup. The shimmering honey of the tea was mesmerising, like looking at one of those illusions. It gave my mind a break from thinking so hard.

"I just don't like this," I whispered honestly, "I want Nii-san to treat us as he normally does and for Usagi-san to be with me like he usually is."

"It will. Just give it time."

This time I let out a groan.

Of course I knew that. Things were going well. Nii-san had acknowledged us as a couple now. And Usagi-san and I would not be broken apart. Seemingly, there were no more obstacles in the way. I was just angry for the sake of being angry.

"I wish I could be more involved," I confessed, "But instead I feel like a child being handed off."

"You should tell Sensei that."

"Yeah, I should."

"He'll understand."

"Yeah."

"I'm sure he's already planning on speaking to you."

I looked up from the table to stare into Aikawa-san's kind eyes. With as much sincerity as possible, I smiled. "Could you possibly tell the office that –"

"I've got it," she grinned at me brightly, "Now go. I'll pay for lunch."

"Oh no, Aikawa-san, I – "

"Quickly!"

So I ran off, another blessing on my way.

* * *

"Nii-san?!" I exclaimed in haggard breaths. I had sprinted from the station all the way to the penthouse only to be greeted by the sight of my Nii-san standing in the living room.

"What are you doing here? Where's Usagi-san?"

"Oh Misaki. You're back early. I just came to pick up some of Manami's stuff," he answered calmly.

It was so normal that I couldn't really understand what was happening. Wasn't I here to confront Usagi-san and Nii-san about my feelings?

"Um, yeah. I just - I'm looking for Usagi-san."

"He headed after you earlier on. I thought he'd be with you," Nii-san shrugged, "I guess I was wrong."

I couldn't help but notice the tone behind his comments. Just what did he expect from Usagi-san?

"He doesn't have to be around me all the time, Nii-san."

"Hm."

"Nii-san, honestly," I exasperated, tired from all the mind games, "What do you want us to do? Do you want us to perform a ceremony of some sort or buy you dinner?"

He scowled at my attempt of sarcasm. "Just prove that you can openly cope with the world, Misaki."

"We've been coping just fine these few years."

"While hiding it from your family."

Well, he got me there.

"Usagi-san doesn't mind doing that," I offered meekly.

"What?"

"Displaying affection."

Nii-san shook his head, almost like a teacher that couldn't comprehend why their student didn't take in their teaching. "That's not what I mean, Misaki. I don't want you to glamorise romance, thinking that as long as you love each other then it's all rainbows and butterflies. It's a hard journey."

What.

How could he say that? He doesn't even know half of it.

The flashbacks of dealing with the Usami family, our own insecurities, the transition of being lovers, the many falls we had to take to be standing here and all that came out of it was blind fury.

"I know that already!" I yelled, "You don't think we had our issues these past few years?"

Nii-san didn't even seem phased.

"Of course I do. But how many of those realistically reflect the real world? What are you going to do if people at work treat you differently because of it? What if you end up starting a family and you can't get what you wanted?"

It's always this. Always this thinking that he knows what I want.

"All I want is Usagi-san. Everything else comes after."

Just like it always has been.

God, now I feel stupid. Of course it has been.

"Misaki, I say this because I love you. Sometimes we have to be rational and plan ahead, regardless of how you feel now. Maybe you're still young but Usagi has done that. He has planned ahead since ages ago."

I frowned.

What the heck did he mean by that? In what way has Usagi-san planned for the future? As in a future without me? A future where he would have to abandon me for something he wanted? That didn't make sense.

Then a familiar cold hand clamped itself on my shoulder.

"I'd rather you let me speak for myself, Takahiro."

And the moment I heard Usagi-san's voice, I could feel the seething anger transform. The uncertainty I felt sank to the bottom of my heart. This was what it was like to have your feelings bind you completely and then to feel love, flooding in.

"Usagi-san!"

I whirled around in excitement, ready to embrace him. I just wanted to sit down together with him and speak to him, tell him everything that's been on my mind. But he was staring so intensely at Nii-san, holding out a folder in his direction.

"This is your proof."

* * *

 **Wow guys, I really don't know if this was worth the wait but if you're here I have to applaud you for your patience. I kind of hate myself for procrastinating for so long, but hey! I'm back in business and better than ever! One more chapter to go, and I have also happy to announce that I have another Junjou fic planned this summer. Hope you guys will enjoy that too ;)**

GeminiCentralStation - I'm so happy that you enjoy the realism of the fanfiction. I'm always scared that I'm boring you with all this sappy talk, but I think sometimes it's better this way. I've let reading fiction romanticize my life so many times. And I'll totally support you if you exit your writer's block! I completely sympathize with you. It's really difficult to stay in a creative space for too long but I believe you can do it!

Shiranai Atsune - Haha, I know. A little anti-climatic, huh? Now I'm worried you won't be happy with the ending since it won't be as exciting as you hope... But hey! How weird would it be if I started making this an mpreg fic?

Hanaki-oujosama097 - Awww you're so sweet. Definitely a happy ending - I doubt it's a spoiler at this point. It's just the extent of the happy ending I'm going for. I hope you'll enjoy it. As for an epilogue, many people have been wanting a lemon ;)

NekoAyane - Not at all! I completely agree with your rant. If you're ever in a place like Takahiro, I think it's important to have time alone but never reject your family, especially when they're the ones closest to you. I'm so glad (kind of, in a nice way) that I managed to evoke that sort of emotion in you. Thank you for reading so deeply into my fic :)

Silent ShadowRaven - I feel so awful for what happened to your cousin, but congratulations to her! What an amazing coincidence. Family identity really is a massive issue, especially in asian communities. And I feel like how Takahiro hurt Misaki really ought to portray that. Even though it's love, it can really hurt. So thank you for picking up on that! And I'm so glad you like this version of Misaki. I'm so confused in his development. He seems to always take steps back when I don't expect him to, so hopefully I've gotten somewhat of a grasp on his character. Thank you for being so patient with me. I really don't know what I did to deserve this.

Bitter Sweet Lovin - You're not being repetitive at all! I hope you're not being annoyed by my thanking you all every time because you really deserve it. When I realise people are reading - and ohmygosh enjoying - my writing, I get all warm inside. I'm really lucky to have such a lovely reader on my side. I hope I haven't disappointed you with my break, but I'm back! I hope you'll forgive me.

Evilboo - You really think so? I'm always worried that there's not enough suspense. There's only so much you can do with drama. Although now that it's coming to an end, I hope it's not too predictable. Thank for your support!

spacenarwhals - No! I completely understand that! I feel like nowadays each new chapter of JR is just sex. There isn't much consolidating on their relationship, or real conflict, or realistic portrayal of life. I'm glad you like my version of them (although if I'm being completely honest, it's because I'm awful at writing smexy scenes so I shied away from it). Thank you for the love!

Monanell - I am truly sorry for waiting this long to reply. You're so sweet for continuing to read my fic and I hope you're still here. I'm shocked that my writing has the ability to put you in suspense and absolutely flattered at the same time. So thanks again!

JustPlainToni - You're so sweet. Things have certainly picked up and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Guest - Hi, I just wanted to say a quick thank you because your review actually got me back into finishing my fic. This might be really awkward but since everything has been so quiet, I figured I could abandon it. But then suddenly I get an email in the midst of July and it was a review. So, thank you. And I hope you continue to enjoy my fic to the end.


	10. Chapter 10

The folder was one of those fancy leather binders – legal stuff that I would never want to touch. But Nii-san did not hesitate to snatch it off Usagi-san's hands and skimmed through it while I just stared like some idiot off the streets.

"I went to find you at Marukawa but Aikawa said you left to go home," Usagi-san muttered quietly to me.

"Oh, right. I, um, wanted to see you."

"Hm?"

"To talk… about stuff."

He raised a brow, as if challenging me.

"I mean, I wanted to," my voice dropped lower, "To apologise."

"What for?"

"Acting out on you. That wasn't fair. I was acting like a baby. I didn't realise that things were… different. Perspectives. Ah, I don't know!" I grunted and rustled my own hair out of frustration.

"Usagi, what is this?" Nii-san finally spoke up from beside us.

He had opened up the folder to show us exactly what was causing him confusion. And although I didn't understand legal-lingo all that much, I could read the basic and understand that my name was scrawled on it. Even if I couldn't make out the fine print, I could see the bold lettering at the top: Will and Testament of Usami Akihiko.

"What the fuck?"

I didn't even realise that had slipped out of my mouth. Usually, I was so good with keeping my cussing to a minimum, especially around family.

"What the fuck? Is this your will? Usagi-san, you brought your own will? What the – Why the – How? Why? What? Usagi-san, why is this here?" I blubbered, my brain now going haywire.

All I could do now was listen. My mind wasn't letting me think by itself. Because if Usagi-san had a will, that meant he was thinking about death. And that wasn't a thing I liked to think about.

"Takahiro needed to know I was serious," he answered plainly with that deadpan face, "Planning ahead."

"Usagi, you have Misaki down for… everything," Nii-san's eyes widened, "And I would be the executor."

"Yes. I figured you would be happy to carry it out."

"When did you -?"

"Two years ago."

"Why are you showing this to me now?"

"You wanted me to prove how serious I was," he explained as if pointing out the blatantly obvious, "If Misaki allowed it, I would be flying him to the States now and get married, but that's not how he'd want it; so I thought about it and this was the best way I could show you, with hard evidence, that I am devoted to your brother, and only your brother."

Nii-san looked just as shocked as he did when we told him we were dating. That same blank look crossed over his face and his jaw seemed to slacken just a little. I was pretty sure I looked the exact same, except Nii-san recovered quickly and straightened himself back up.

"Usagi, this isn't really what I meant."

We looked to Nii-san, awaiting his explanation. He seemed stunned that we were staring in anticipation and sighed, almost disappointed.

"I don't need legal proof, Usagi – although this does tell me a lot. (You probably shouldn't leave all that to Misaki, by the way, he'll lose his mind.) I just wanted you to show that you will be able to take my brother out into the world and protect him."

I was about to refute again.

The argument seemed to be going around in circles. Usagi-san had no need to prove himself when he had been doing this for years, loving me unconditionally. He has gone above and beyond for me this whole time. He would no doubt bend to Nii-san's will if asked. I was about to fight for his honour when he spoke up himself.

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

What?

"Usagi?"

"I won't be able to give you that evidence then."

"What do you mean?"

"I love Misaki. There's no doubt about it. And if I could, I would be showing off to the world how happy we are. But Misaki doesn't like public displays of affection, and if I forced him it would only make it worse. It's not worth the evidence."

Wow.

He's… right. As always. But it never failed to surprise me how selfless he was.

"Nii-san, stop interrogating him," I pressed on, "He doesn't have to do anything. The thing that matters the most is that we're together and we're perfectly fine. Usagi-san has done more than enough."

Nii-san stared at me, as if trying to rearrange a puzzle that was tattooed across my face. Finally, he gave up trying.

"Okay. Alright. Fine." He waved his hand in the air in resignation.

"Huh?"

"I'm tired of running around as well. Manami actually told me to come here and apologise," he sighed, "I know you're both adults but you're very important to me. Both of you. So I needed to be sure. I just… I don't know. I guess I lost my mind for a little bit."

I couldn't help but smile.

Thank goodness for Nee-san. She always saves the day.

"You don't have to worry, Takahiro," Usagi-san also let out the tiniest smile, "Misaki has me covered."

"I know. And I know you'll be looking after Misaki too," Nii-san said softly, "Thank you for taking care of him. All this time. And for the future too."

I worried I was becoming bipolar. How can I be so tense one second and the other I can feel my body giving up on me and want to cry?

Looking at the two of them, best friends again, so confident, made me emotional on a level I had never experienced before. But it seemed that was all I was feeling this week: everchanging emotions.

"Don't say it as though we'll never see you again," Usagi-san said, probably sensing I couldn't say anything, "We'll come over for dinner soon. You still owe Misaki a graduation celebration."

"Yes, of course," Nii-san finally smiled.

* * *

Once Nii-san left, we clung onto one another for dear life. Although it hadn't been long, it felt like eternity. The emotional journey was much too long and I was spent.

"I thought you were angry," he murmured into my ear, brushing my hair aside, "Manami said you would be for a while."

"How can anyone be angry after all that?"

He hummed in agreement and I could feel the vibrations through both our bodies. I just wanted to melt into him, be with him.

I meshed our lips together, hungrily asking for me. And Usagi-san complied. We were desperate for contact, clawing at each other until we were lying on the sofa.

"Ow!" I yelped, feeling a sting on my back. I quickly shuffled so that I could remove it, not wanting to lose a moment, but once I saw the piece of paper I couldn't help but stop.

"Usagi-san, your will."

"Chuck it out," Usagi-san grunted, dropping his body onto of mine.

"Hey, get off!"

I wormed my way out of the crushing weight and looked at the crumpled paper in my hand. I really wanted to read it – although it was rude and maybe against the law? I'm not sure. I'm not a child. Of course I understand that wills are necessary no matter what age you are or how healthy you are. Knowing and acknowledging are entirely different though. I didn't want to see this tempting piece of paper if I could only see it again when…

"Misaki."

I turned to face him; and my expression must have been pathetic because he looked sad.

"What's bothering you?"

"Why didn't you tell me you wrote me into your will?"

His brows furrowed. "I thought you would have assumed. There's nobody else close enough to me that I would worry about after I pass."

I choked up on that.

Passing.

How could he say it so naturally, with no hesitation? Did nothing scare him? Or was I just a scaredy-cat?

"What about your family? Usagi-nii?"

He scoffed, "You know they'll be fine. Plus, it only occurred to me to update my will when my grandfather passed. None of the Usamis seemed bothered."

"Your cousins? You friends? Aikawa-san?"

He smirked, "If she isn't the one that kills me."

I did not find that funny. Death isn't funny. It's always there, always haunting me, past and present.

"Misaki, you are the one and only person in my life."

"That's not –"

"You are the only one I would worry about if anything happened to me."

"Stop it," I choked out, "Stop it. Nothing's happening to either of us."

"I know. I know you don't want to talk about it, but in case –"

As immature as it was, I couldn't help but cover my ears to block out his voice. I wasn't sure why people ever did this, because even through that, I could hear him calling me.

"Misaki."

"You can't do this to me. You can't leave me."

"I'm not saying I am."

"Yes, you are."

"I would never."

Usagi-san reached for my hands gently, holding them in his own. I looked down at our pairs of hands and realised I was trembling and I couldn't fix it.

"Misaki. I'm here right now."

But I couldn't help feeling otherwise. I couldn't help that I was still shaking.

"Misaki."

He was begging me.

"Misaki."

I need to pull myself together.

"We're supposed to be okay now," he mumbled, whether to himself or me I wasn't sure. But he drew me closer to him, cradling my head now.

I took in his scent, trying to calm down.

I'm supposed to be a lot of things. I shouldn't be so stupid. Usagi-san is right. He's here now. And when my parents were here, I didn't treasure our time. This time, I can do it right.

"We are okay," I whispered back, "There's always going to be something in the way."

"Hm."

"Whether it's your family, or mine, or people in general, even the world. Or… death."

He stayed silent this time but his hold on me tightened.

"But we'll be okay. Because we'll get through it together."

"Who knew you were so sappy?"

I let out a dry laugh.

Who knew I could be anything? Yet here I am, holding onto my lover like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

Life moved on slowly after that.

Sure, a huge weight has been lifted off my chest but beyond the psychological effects of that, I was living the most basic of lives. I woke up, dressed, cooked, went to work, and came home to Usagi-san pretending to work.

There was no significant difference, yet at the same time everything was changed. So I continued on my daily routine, until we were sitting quietly in the living room and my mind wandered to Nii-san. He was clearly busy getting things better at home, but I wanted to see him again – just to confirm that all this was real. That I had actually accomplished one of the best things of my life.

"We should get dinner or something," I suggested, switching off the TV so that Usagi-san could hear me clearly, "All of us. Like a real family now."

His eyes didn't lift from the paper, but his glasses did droop slightly from how long he had lounged on the sofa unmoved.

"We did. Barely a week ago at your graduation."

I frowned at him. "You know that doesn't count. It's not what I meant. I mean we should have a proper dinner – an official celebratory one."

"Like I said, graduation."

I rolled my eyes and contemplated giving up. He clearly wasn't on board with the idea so there was no point forcing a celebratory dinner. Even in my imaginative mind it was already a disaster.

"We don't have much going on anyway – you're barely working."

"Hm."

"What's the harm in going over for dinner or dining out once in a while?"

"Because we have plans," he said, still disinterested.

"Plans?"

"Mm-hm."

"What plans? We have no plan," I reiterated, as if saying the word 'plan' more would make a difference. (It did, actually. It made me annoyed.)

"A trip."

"Usagi-san, you may have forgotten that we have just come back from Greece," I reprimanded him in the superior voice I always did, "And you forget that we are not made of money."

"So we shouldn't dine out."

I groaned. Of course he would use that as a comeback.

"If you're just making excuses to skip work…"

"I'm not."

"Then why do you not want to go have dinner with Nii-san? We should all be tightening our bonds and all that, right? He can see how happy we are, and we can get used to being open about it."

"I'm not against it."

"Then why?"

"Like I said, I want to go on a trip with you."

"And like I said, we just did."

"That's a holiday."

"What's the difference?"

"There's a purpose to a trip."

"And what purpose do you have?"

"Marriage."

Whoa. What?

"Did you just say…?"

"Marriage."

Okay, so I didn't mishear that.

I shouldn't really be surprised. We had talked about this. In fact, it was mentioned not so long ago.

"W-why do you…? What did…? Wait. I don't… You didn't even…"

My helpless bumbling surprisingly had Usagi-san put down his paper to look at me. But now I was so confused that I couldn't look him in the eye.

"I thought that was what you wanted. You said so."

Oh fuck. I forgot about that.

"I didn't. I mean, I did. I do want that. Just, not…"

"Not now?" Usagi-san raised a brow. "I thought we were living in the present."

God damn this man. He knew exactly where to hurt me.

"B-but we're talking about marriage," I spluttered out the word, "That's a… That's a huge commitment. That's a lifelong thing. That's… insane."

"As insane as everything else that's been going on," he said in that sarcastic dull tone of his.

"W-we're not going."

"It doesn't have to be America – other countries allow you to marry now," he supplied helpfully, "Would you prefer Canada? Britain? Netherlands?"

"I prefer nothing!" I yelped, "This is way too soon."

"Misaki, you basically proposed; you even took a ring from me."

I flushed uncontrollably, mainly because I couldn't think of a response to the truth.

"Do you not want to marry me?"

I scowled. He knows that's not what I mean. He knows exactly what's happening, as always. And he knows that in the end, I will cave to anything he wants. And if he wants to get married now then…

He left out a heavy sigh, as if the weight of the world was on it. I couldn't help but think he was disappointed, if we had gone back to the top of the spiral once again to fall back down. We had come so far but it seems we're always in danger.

"Misaki, look at me."

He didn't give me a choice. His cold hands were on either of my burning cheeks and I was staring at stormy grey eyes.

"I wouldn't push you to do anything you don't want to do."

"I do want this," I whispered, "I do."

"Leave that for later."

I couldn't even laugh at him poorly timed jokes.

"And if this isn't the right time, then we won't do anything."

"I don't want to make you wait, like I did with Nii-san. I don't want to owe you that way."

"You owe me nothing, Misaki. You gave yourself to me, and that's more than anything I've ever wanted. We don't even need to get married. We practically are."

"Then why are you pushing for this?"

He shrugged.

He physically shrugged.

He caused me this much trauma and he shrugged at me.

"What?"

"I thought it would make you happy. Plus, I have a deadline coming up next month. It'd be a good time to have a honeymoon."

Oh my god.

I whacked his hands away from me and stood up.

"We are not getting married until I decide and we are going to have dinner with Nii-san next week. Got that?" I exclaimed, glowering at him.

He smiled at me.

And while having the person you love smile at you is one of the best things in the world, it was eerie. I couldn't tell what he wanted. What he expected.

"W-what is it?"

"Nothing. Just good to see you're back to yourself."

Oh damn, I am so going to marry this man.

* * *

 **End.**

 **I actually planned for another scene, but I may save that for an epilogue if I get the chance. I really hope you guys don't mind this quick wrap-up but I also didn't want to stall this any further. It would mean a lot to me if you enjoyed this final chapter that I managed to write because I owe my precious readers so much. You have been absolute stars for coming this far and putting up with my messed-up schedule. It has been a pleasure to write this fic for you to read and I hope I'll hear from you soon :) Thank you once more!**

 **Much love, CRB**


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